little morning star | bellamy blake

Nightmare

when i wake up, a day has passed and im sitting by a fire. clarke and lexa sit and talk about a battle strategy.

when i sit up, they both rush to my side.

"i woke up a day later? that's a record i hope i don't break," i say as i grab my head, my ears are still ringing, "i see most people are alright,"

"we're trying to figure out how to strike back to mount weather," clarke says, "what if sending bellamy back there was a bad idea?"

"he's going to be fine," i respond, "he has to be,"

"you care about him," lexa notices, "you worry about him more than the rest,"

"i couldn't have kept everyone alive all this time without him, we need him," clarke shoots back her defensively

"you only care about my boyfriend when you need him?" i joke to clarke, i know it's not true. she'd be devastated if something happened to him.

lexa heads outside, i follow but instead of going where she goes, i sit by the fire with lincoln and octavia. clarke joins me after a second.

"i've been going over it in my head and i'm just trying to figure out how you're still alive," octavia says to us, "you were here before the missile. then you all happen to survive. tell me you didn't know it was coming,"

"octavia," clarke says, giving her the answer she was looking for.

"you let these people die," octavia says angrily.

"i did it to save bellamy, they would've killed him if they knew we had an inside spy," clarke yells back.

"so you decide who's disposable, you'd have fit right in on the council," she says as she gets up and leaves the fire.

i sit by the fire until i decide that i need to go back to the Ark to make sure everything is alright. i tell clarke and lexa, hop on a horse and head there. when i get there, i head straight into the engineering room. when i got there, raven and wick were talking on the walkie.

"bellamy?" i asked, they jumped up, not knowing that i was there. raven handed me the walkie and told me that she was done with their conversation anyways.

"hey, morning star," he says over the walkie, "how was TonDC?"

"you know, the usual. i passed out, clarke and abby almost murdered each other. but i don't want to talk about that right now," i say, "i just wanted to make sure you were okay,"

"are you okay?" he seemed genuinely concerned, i know i must've been sounding like i was near crying.

"of course, that's all i had to say," the truth was, i didn't know what i wanted to say to him. i just knew i needed to say something.

"i've gotta say, you're a lot more talkative when you've had some of montys moonshine," he shot back, "we'll talk when i get back,"

if you get back.

i get off of the walkie, then i leave raven and wick alone in the engineering room. i have no more use for them, i'm looking for my Uncle.

when i finally find him, he's eating in the mess hall. i know he doesn't notice me when i sit down across from him and he makes no motion to see me.

"uncle?" i ask lightly

"venus," he breathes out as he reaches to hug me. i hug him back and sit back down, "last i heard you were in TonDC with clarke?"

i nodded, "yeah that kind of blew up.. literally," i laughed.

"you know i talked to that bellamy kid while you were in mount weather," he started as he shoved a fork full of food in his mouth, "i like him,"

"yeah hes-"

"head over heels for you?" he laughed.

"i was going to say interesting but we can go with what you were saying," i laughed back.

"i think your mom would've liked him," our laughter died down, "she didn't really get a chance to know him as anything other than 'that annoying kid who lived next to me' but she would've really liked him now,"

"i think so too," i responded back.

"she would've liked the woman you've turned out to be too," but i don't say anything back to him this time.

"i heard you got the shit beat out of you by some grounders," he said finally.

i laughed and nodded, "to be fair, i told them i wanted to fight. to make me tougher,"

"you're already tough, kid," he said, "don't waste time talking to me, go find your boyfriend,"