little morning star | bellamy blake

Emotions Are For Children; Starring Clarke Griffin

i sit in the engineering room before raven or anyone else comes in. i know bellamy is safe now, but for some reason that makes the uneasy feeling in my stomach feel worse. what if somethings happened to him?

when clarke and raven get there, i notice clarke had a body guard following her.

"worried someone's going to take a shot at you in the Ark?" raven asks. clarke tells her body guard to wait outside, before we all fall silent.

"he's late," i say softly, staring at the radio.

"he's fine," raven shoots back.

i stand up to take a look at the maps raven has drawn out, but what caught my eye was that they were all focused on the dam, not the mountain itself.

"how many of these can you make?" clarke asks as she toys with the instrument made by the mountain men. they used that machine to contain the reapers, the sound made them back away.

"two so far-" but clarke interrupted raven.

"that's not enough," she says.

"give her a break," i shoot back at her.

"venus, you and i are about to leave for TonDC where people are waiting for us to tell them that we are ready. but we aren't ready." clarke says at me, i can tell she's frustrated but bellamy starts talking on the radio and i get distracted.

"ark station, do you read me?"

"you're late," clarke says frustratingly

"are you through?" i laugh at what he's said, "acid fogs going to have to wait. they've started taking our friends out of the dorm one at a time every few hours. i don't know where, they went to a classified level,"

"did you get the walkie?" raven asks, she made them a walkie so that she can talk to him whenever she needs to.

"got it," he says back, "we're going through the vents so that we can hear them on the classified levels,"

"we aren't going to TonDC," clarke says, "i'll send someone else. this is more important," and she leaves the room.

bellamy stops talking on the radio, meaning that he's going into the air vent. raven starts giving him direction as he goes, and i can tell i'm not needed here. clarke comes back in and joins her.

a drilling noise comes from the walkie, "is that a drill?"

"bone marrow extraction," clarke thinks out loud, "they're using our friends,"

"...apparently there's a war council meeting at a village. the leaders are all going to be there. we're going to use a missile," the guy says over the radio.

"please tell me you heard all of that," bellamy says.

"we heard it," i say back.

"did kane take a radio?" clarke asks raven, i'm assuming that's who she sent in our place.

"no, he didn't," raven asks.

"we can make it if we leave now," i say to clarke

"enough time to get blown up, you're not going," bellamy says over the walkie

"drop dead," i respond, "we have to go now, clarke,"

we run out of the Ark, out the gates on horses and try to make our way to TonDC as fast as we can. if we leave, if we get everyone out safely, they'll know that we knew about the missile. when we get there, we already know that our first mission is to find Lexa and tell her. octavia stops to question clarke on bellamy, but i know we don't have time.

"the Sky people have honored us with their presence?" lexa asks once we approach her.

"we are late, i'm sorry," clarke says to her, "can we talk in private?"

"this way,"

we follow lexa into the room we have been in before, when they burned finns body. after we explained the situation, it seemed lexa didn't want to evacuate everyone.

"if we evacuate, they'll know we have a spy and everything will be for nothing," she says.

"if we don't, everyone will die and we won't have an army. everything will be for nothing," i say back to her.

"we can't risk it, bellamys job is not done," she says back, "we slip away. right now,"

she hands us cloaks to put on to conceal our identities. clarke and lexa argue as i sit and watch.

"you could've said something to them out there, but you didn't, people die it's war." lexa sounds cold and heartless, but i can't help but feel that she's right.

we make our way to the woods, following lexa despite our morals telling us otherwise. if we were raised grounders, i'm sure this would be a different story. maybe we wouldn't care so much about the lives of people we don't know.

"what if we make them miss?" clarke asks to us as we stop outside the village.

"with a weapon like this, you can't miss," lexa argues, she's got a good point. a missile isn't something that just misses. it's not a bullet.

clarke makes a run for it, and i follow her closely. i can't have the princess running everywhere without anyone to make sure she's making rational decisions.

"mom," clarke yells to her mother as we near her. that's why she ran in here, her mom.

"we have to leave now," she yells, "i'm begging you, come on," and we rush abby out of the camp. we all make it to the woods before a loud explosion happens, and when i try to stand up again my ears are ringing.

everywhere around me is dust, and people are screaming in agony. we're all fine, we're all alive but i don't know how to feel relieved when i feel so sorry for them.

i stand up fully on both feet, "we have to go," my vision starts getting blurry and my actions start getting feeling heavier. my eyelids are falling slightly.

"you knew," abby whispers, "you knew that this was going to happen, you let this happen,"

she's yelling now, but i can't fully respond or even recognize that people are speaking to me, then i collapse. i fall to the ground, clarke and abby rushing towards me. i lift my hand into the air, just staring at my fingers.

what a peaceful way to die.