little morning star | bellamy blake

Im Bitter And I Wont Stop Whining

when i get to the mess hall, clarke walks in at the same time that i do. she's got the same look on her face that she always does, like she's secretly planting a bomb or something. she makes eyes in the direction of a seat we could sit in alone.

when i sit down across from her, i get the vibe like i'm supposed to be looking like i'm having a pleasant conversation. not like i'm planning on leaving, "so how long was i out exactly?"

"a little less than week," she says, giving me a look that says that a lot happened during the time i was out.

"jesus,"

"the man you spoke with, they call him the President. his name is Dante. he seems harmless, but i know that he knows the people of the Ark are out there," Clarke says.

"and what does he know about us?" i ask, looking down at the food in front of me and trying to pay close attention to it.

"he asked a lot about you while you were asleep. he called both of us leaders, which is only half true. i don't feel like much of a leader right now," she responds.

"you are our leader. what all does he know about me? i'm flattered to be a topic of conversation," i joke back to her.

"knows about you and bellamy, it seems he feels bad for you. someone from our group explained that you and i would be the hardest to look out for, considering we both have people back home we hope aren't dead,"

"anything useful you can tell me about the people here?" i made no comment on what she had said, i didn't want to think about bellamy being dead. he didn't seem like the kind of person who could die if that makes sense.

"i watched maya take a "treatment" of some sorts when she came in contact with us. they've been living in this mountain since the bombs went off, they only take in the clean air that they purify. they cannot go outside because of the radiation, they would all die," she says as she leans down towards the table, "the treatment maya took looked weird. like bad weird,"

"fuck," i say, "any way out of this place? and why am i wearing such weird clothes?"

"they changed you," she says back as she rolls her eyes. i notice that she's wearing weird clothes also, "but no, i haven't found any places out yet. i'm looking currently but i'll let you know when we find it,"

we were interrupted by several people leaving their tables, and jasper makes his way over to me just as clarke gets up to walk over to monty.

"look," he says as he sits where clarke sat before, "i know she doesn't trust this place. but i need you to, okay?"

"why?"

"we have two leaders. people listen to clarke but they listen to you too, and i need people to stay here," he says. the look in his eyes looks desperate, but i know it's out of love and not actual desperation, "bellamy and finn are dead. hopefully you'll realize that for her,"

i have nothing to say, what do i even say back to that? i can't believe that they're dead, even if they are.

"looks like i've got to go to level three, goodnight jasper," and with that i get up and make my way to the hospital area.

when i get into the room, nobody else is in there. exactly how i need it to be. i lay down on my bed, and stare at the ceiling. when i hear footsteps i decide to play dead once more, laying down comfortably and closing my eyes so they person coming will think that i'm dead.

when i hear voices coming, i easily recognize the female voice. it was the doctor from earlier. the male voice is the one i don't recognize, so i listen into their conversations.

"Dante will never go for this," she says as they get closer.

"we don't need him to go for this," he says back to her, "look. she's asleep, she's perfect for this operation. we can test with her,"

"we've already tested on someone," the woman responds, "we know it works. why take the sky people?"

"their blood keeps us alive in here. but their bones will keep us alive out there," he says back, moving so close to me that i can hear their movements.

i feel someone grab my arms as they try to lift me up, and then someone else grabs my legs. i guess the doctor stopped arguing with this man for long enough to agree with whatever he's doing. i can feel us moving for long enough to get into an elevator and stop. after the elevator dings we continue to walk somewhere else.

"she's going to wake up," the man says in a hushed voice

"she's a heavy sleeper," the woman responds. i mean she's right but that would sting so much less if i were actually asleep. we stop walking and the room becomes so much louder when we get in, i hear people coughing and mumbling as soon as they notice the people carrying me.

a lock unlocks and the people take no time in trying to place me in what seemed to be a cage. i opened my eyes, "she'll be useful to us,"