Prepsworth Academy

Chapter 78 - "It's not blackmail, just...incentive."

RoseI grippedthe steering wheel tightly, like it was a lifeboat taking me away from all ofthis craziness. I'd stuffed up when I'd mentioned Adelaide, and by telling Ellewhat had happened, I'd run the very real risk of getting us all exposed andbringing everyone down. Luckily, she wasn't in too much of a state to be takenseriously by everyone. I still felt sick, knowing that Elle probably now hatedme. It was exactly like everyone hadprobably prophesised: I'd date Elle for a while, before breaking up with herand making her hate me. "So, youand Elle lasted a while." Lukas quipped, his feet up on the dashboard. "Do you ever stop acting like the "cringey rebelwho thinks he's so cool and smooth"? I asked indignantly."Niceinsult." Lukas said sarcastically, smirking."Yeah,well I'm not exactly in the right frame of mind currently. Come back in an hourand I'll be happy to provide you with a better insult." I snapped."I'msorry Rose. I really am." Lukas murmured. I gripped the steering wheel harderand stared at the flooded, dark, road, illuminated by the headlights."Save itfor someone who cares." I said coldly."I don'tneed you to care. I need you to listen!"Lukas exclaimed softly."I'll letyou know when I'm ready to listen." I said blandly."Really?Okay!" Lukas exclaimed, a slight smile on his features."In fact,I'll tell you right now, never!" I continued, smiling evilly. Lukas laughedcoldly, and inspected a key between his fingers. He caught me looking at himand smirked at me."Want to knowwhat this is?" "Notparticularly.""It's thekey to your favourite car." Lukas said calmly."Excuseme?""Oh, andit goes out the window if you don't agree to talk to me. and listen." Lukas added, opening thewindow, putting his hand out the window and twirling the key between hisfingers."Youcan't blackmail me into talking to you." I snapped."Don'tmake it like that Rose. It's not blackmail, just ... incentive." Lukas said,throwing the key up and catching it."That'snot going to work." I protested. Lukas raised an eyebrow."That's avery expensive claim to make." Hesaid, dangling the key on his little finger."Fine.Give me the keys and I promise to talk to you." I said."Andlisten.""Andlisten or whatever gets me the keys back!" I snapped. Lukas smiled and tossedme the keys. I caught them with one hand and dropped them into my pocket."Sincewhen do we hurt each other and use each other?" I asked, disgustedly. Lukaslaughed bitterly."Sinceyou started it. You beat me up, multiple times, remember? You trashed me heapsof times in front of everyone. You treated me like I was dirt and I was sodevoted to you. To me, you were everything. But to you, I may as well have beennothing." Lukas exclaimed, in an accusing tone. It sounded like he was waitingfor me to contradict him, but I didn't say a word. After a silence, Lukas spokeagain."So what,are you never going to talk to me again unless you have to?" He asked, soundinghurt. I didn't bother to even look at him as I replied."That'sthe idea." Lukas laughed, lowly and darkly, and when he spoke again, his voicewas deadly."We'llsee about that."Emma"You lookdifferent." Harry said awkwardly, fiddling with his chin-length hair. I shothim a poisonous glare."Well I'msorry if a stint in prison hasn't exactly improved my complexion." I snapped.Harry raised his arms up in a gesture of surrender."I'm nottalking about your complexion, your complexion is, well, as perfect as always."Harry began and I raised my eyebrows slightly, acknowledging the compliment.Harry sighed, resting his head against the window."You lookdifferent: colder, more pristine, but dangerous. Wild, somehow." Harrycontinued softly. I didn't need a mirror to know it was true. My face wasn'tfrozen in a cold sneer, but I wasn't exactly beaming up at the world either.Then again, I never had been that nice. But I still felt different. Like Harry had said; more dangerous. More inclinedto punch someone and scream at someone than I had been before. Like a wildanimal, ready to shred this perfect, human body and break free. Or, at the veryleast; someone less happy to smile and direct people. Someone who preferred tomanipulate, to harm. I suppose the word I was looking for was ruthless. I'd been cold before, but nottruly ruthless. Not inhumane. But what happened changed everyone. Even Harrylooked edgy, with dark circles beneath his eyes and a slight frown. "And, ofcourse, there's your hair. I like it. It's very you." Harry said earnestly. I tuckeda piece of hair behind my ear, still getting used to my short hair. It wasdifferent, but liked it too."Icouldn't keep it. It reminded me of who I was before.""That'sokay. I understand. I'm here for you, if you need to talk about anything. Iwant to help.""Okay." Ianswered evenly and quietly."That'sit?" Harry asked incredulously. "Whatmore do you want me to say?" I demanded. I didn't know what answer I was hopingfor, but it wasn't the one I got."Nothing.Just forget about it, okay?" Harry said, a touch sullenly. "Growup." I snapped at him, turning to look out the window. For some reason, Icouldn't see the light-hearted, sweet boy in the police car when I looked atHarry. I guess that's the difference between illusions and real life. Real lifeis infinitely darker. Harry"What doyou want me to say?" I love you."Nothing.Just forget about it, okay?" Don't forgetabout it. "Growup." I have.Ireplayed the conversation a million times in my head, getting more annoyed atmyself every time. I'd fallen for Emma, only to get my heart broken. Like whatI always knew would happen. I should have seen it coming from a mile away, butI was preoccupied with following everyone else as they flounced around on somekind of investigation, for no reason other than that they were probably bored,or that there was something in it for them. Peopletend to say that they're doing things for the greater good, when they're justdoing it for a selfish reason. The worst is when it's subconscious, and peoplecontinuously claim and insist that it's not selfish, that they care abouteveryone in the world. Truthfully, people rarely do. I'd worked hard at school,studied, joined clubs and made friends. and the whole time I'd told myself that it wasall for my family, all so I could help them, and get all the younger kids intoa good university. But, honestly, the only reason I'd been doing it to provethat I was more than the funny, friendly guy everything thought I was. To provethat I could be the smartest, be the best. But I never was. I always settledfor second or third. I always thought it was okay when I never topped the classes,because my family would be proud of me. But they always needed more. More As,more money, more studying. Because they needed someone other than the silly,goofy boy I was. They needed someone smart, who'd work tirelessly. But I wasnever enough for them, in any way, I was always in the middle. So I workedharder. Somewhere along the way, I'd become a mixture of the class clown andthe diligent worker, but both those personas were gone because of what hadhappened. And I had no idea who I was.