Prepsworth Academy

Chapter 38 - "I think you know the answer to that."

Jake 

I didn't talk to Amy. I didn't feel like talking to her. All the vulnerabilities, all my weaknesses I'd exposed whilst talking to Amy had run through my head the entire night. I'd stuffed up in trusting her. Still, like a good little puppy I'd shown up at her door. I guess it was just in my nature to run after someone. I just couldn't let people go. But I didn't want it to be. And I wasn't going to change for Amy. It would be like trading one kind of leash for another. Amy didn't make any effort to talk to me either, she just stared at the ground. The silence was overwhelming, falling in crashing waves over me, immersing me. I began to drown in it, to drown in the silence. I needed to get out.

When I arrived in class, I walked in and passed my usual spot, instead sitting next to Emma and Harry and opening my laptop. Harry looked up before looking towards my normal spot, which was empty. I looked towards the front, where I saw Amy by herself, before Elle walked in, her face pinched, and looked across the classroom. She saw Amy sitting by herself, before seeing me sitting with Harry and Emma. Her eyes widened in understanding and she waved at us before sitting next to Amy. I raised my hand in greeting before turning to Harry and Emma.

"I'm sorry if I took Amy's spot." Emma waved the apology away.

"It's fine. You can sit wherever you like."

"Besides, we're here if you want to explain what happened between you and Amy." Harry added.

"I don't want to unload all of my burdens on you." I protested. I also didn't feel like revealing just how weak I was, how I paled in comparison to Lukas.

"You just seemed to be getting along well." Harry said.

"It was nothing really. We were just making friendly conversation." I said, forcing a grin.

"Sure." Emma said, rolling her eyes. Harry made a face at Emma, before turning to me.

"It's fine. Everyone's pretty confused about everything these days, so don't sweat it. We're all repressing our feelings here." Harry said with a wink.

"I just don't want to spend the entire day moping around."

"You could always distract yourself by you know, actually doing work." Emma suggested. I looked at the work scrawled across the whiteboard and made a face.

"I don't really think that "Autobiographical Writing" will be that distracting." I said, grimacing.

"No kidding. How about, instead, I start a fun, light-hearted conversation about our maths homework." Harry said. Emma glared at him.

"I told you to stop bringing that up." Harry saw my questioning face and grinned, leaning forward conspiratly.

"Get this. Little Miss Perfect over here, didn't finish her algebra homework." Harry said gleefully. Emma elbowed him lightly, covering her face with her hand.

"I've been busy." Emma mumbled.

"Yeah, and that's why you're on your phone underneath the table." Harry said.

"It's a lawyer thing. I interned again last summer, and we just need to clear some stuff up." Emma explained.

"What's the problem?" I asked. Emma looked up.

"I didn't know you were interested in law."

"My little sister is. She's currently going through a big criminal law phase, which is tied to her true crime phase." I explained.

'My brother's doing the exact same thing. He's nine, which means he holds mini trials with his toys, which is a weird mix." Harry added. I burst out laughing.

"Sounds pretty similar to my sister. I wish I could be so carefree." I said, looking towards the front of the classroom.

"It would be nice to be a kid again, to not have to worry about everything." Emma agreed.

"I guess when you go to Prepsworth, you have to grow up quickly." Harry mused.

"Why do you think we're sent here?" I asked suddenly.

"What do you mean?"

"Why do our parents or whoever chooses to send us to school sent us here, so far away from everyone else?" I elaborated.

"It's a sign of wealth. Instead of parading us around at dinner parties, we're used as examples. "Look at how rich I am, my child's going to my Prepsworth Academy." Harry said, scowling.

"I guess we never really got the chance to be kids. There was always someone to compare to, someone you had to be better than to impress clients." Emma said bitterly. I looked to the front of the classroom, where Amy was talking quietly to Elle and occasionally looking up at the teacher.

"Do you think we'd be different if we didn't go to Prepsworth? I mean, all the crazy things that happen here have got to mess up your brain." I wondered. Harry noticed where I was looking and smiled sadly at me.

"I think you know the answer to that."

And, in a sudden flash of clarity, I did. Without Prepsworth, we still would've been children. Power-hungry children, desperately trying to impress their children, but children nonetheless. From the second we stepped into Prepsworth, we couldn't be that anymore. We had to grow up, to face everyone else and there twisted schemes. Because of that, we could never be even close to normal, even close to whole. Even the most moral of us was corrupted, ambition and hatred seeping through us all like a poison.

It hurt to think that I was poisoned, but I think I'd known it for a long time, even before my first punch was thrown. I might've known it the second I watched Rose and Lukas fall in love and a small part of my brain had plotted to break them up. I might've known it the second I'd watched Lukas and his friends, my friends, beat up someone and I hadn't lifted a finger to help until afterwards. Or, maybe it was a series of moments, drawing together to create a secret that I'd hidden away in a dark corner of my mind and desperately tried to ignore. Poisoned. And, as I thought it again, it suddenly hurt less, until not at all. The word was like a brand across my forehead, and, as Amy turned around, glancing at me, the word seared into my skin, red hot and impossible to miss. But, as I looked across the classroom, I remembered that we were all poisoned to, the word slashed over our skin hundreds of times. And, for some reason, that did nothing but increase my inexplicable anguish.