Prepsworth Academy

Chapter 82 - "Crazy? Yeah."

RoseIplummeted towards the icy water, the wind tearing at my clothes, my hair,leaving my skin raw aching. I had a second to look towards the horizon andcatch a glimmer of sunlight against the dark sky, and then I'd plunged into thefreezing water, and salty water invaded my eyes and nose. I closed my stingingeyes shut, but I could see the world around me get darker as I descended intothe depths. The impact of the water stung from such a height, but I'd gone infeet first, bursting through the water like a bullet. I felt a feeling ofserenity run over me as the cold of the water numbed me. I opened my eyes andignored the stinging water, stretching a hand towards the rays of sunlightextending towards me, sparkling across the water. My hair floated around me andI choked back a happy laugh, as I kicked, propelling myself towards the surfaceof the water. It took longer than I anticipated, but I enjoyed being in such aquiet, peaceful world, empty of pain or heartbreak.When myhead broke the surface of the water, I gasped for air and smiled, waving up atthe group assembled on the cliff, tiny figures. I noticed someone on theirknees, looking down at me, but could make out their face. I squintedcloser, but mist rolled through,blocking my line of sight and only allowing me to see one metre around me andto the side. Someone motioned for me to swim to shore, and I lazed on my back,kicking, to make my way to shore. I should've felt small, a single body in amassive, deep sea, but I felt calm, staring up and the soft clouds crowding thesky. I couldn't see the shore though the mist, but it felt like a blessing indisguise as I lazily trailed a finger though the mist. After awhile, I felt sand underneath my back and I stood up, my feet brushing pastshells stuck in the sand. I felt sad to leave the peacefulness of the water,and the sudden shock of cold hit, harsh and unyielding. I only made it a fewmetres up the beach before I collapsed, drained of energy and shivering,bringing my knees up to my face. I was suddenly aware of how weak I must look,with stringy dark blonde hair and a drenched grey shirt, shivering. Someoneshouted and I looked up to see Lukas sprinting towards me, draping his heavywoollen jacket over me and hugging me, not caring that he was freezing too. "Are youokay?" Lukas asked after we broke apart, frowning at me like I'd hurt myself."Aren't Ialways." I said, brushing off his concern and getting to my feet. "Rose – Iwant to tell everyone the truth. Now." Lukas admitted, standing up and trailinghis feet through the sand. I felt a twinge of pride, but pushed it away."Don'tbother. I'll tell everyone tomorrow." I said, walking back towards the house.After a minute, I glanced over my shoulder to yell at Lukas to "Go away!", buthe wasn't following me, protesting that I either should or shouldn't tell thetruth. But instead, he was sitting on the beach, oblivious to the waterbrushing up against his legs. He looked so miserable, so weak, that I wanted togo and comfort him, but I resolved against it. It was obviously all a show, puton for my benefit. Earlier, I would've easily fallen for it, but not anymore. Instead,I shrugged my shoulder and walked up the beach to the large, white mansionlooming over me. Bu instead of seeming ominous, it felt safe, like the home Inever had. I breathed out and relaxed my muscles, let my shoulder fall frombeing bunched up close to my neck. I wished desperately that I could be back inthe ocean, being pushed softly to shore by lulling waves, knowing the cold wasthere but not feeling it except for a slight chill on my skin. I wasn'tdrowning, like everyone else who had fallen apart. No, I was floating, highabove everyone else. , light and effortless and free. It was in that briefmoment that I wondered when I'd plummet back down to the ground again.EmmaI don'tknow how you survived that. We all thought you'd be dead, or at least havehypothermia." Lily exclaimed, glancing towards Rose, who was curled up on abeanbag, surrounded by a pile of blankets and inching closer to the roaringfire by the second. The common room was nicer than the cold, lifeless livingroom, a sea of white and grey. "Hotchocolate!" Lily called out joyfully, and I turned to see Harry and Tom enterthe room, each carrying a mug of hot chocolate in each hand. They both set themdown of the table and returned to the kitchen to make the rest.I grabbeda mug of chocolate and brought it up to my face, swiping a finger through themound of whipped cream and cocoa on top of it. I sipped at it, before setting it on the arm of the couch beside me, runningmy finger over the velvet material making the cover of couch. Tom and Harryreturned again, and I averted my eyes from both of them, staring at my hotchocolate. It ought to have been a warm, comfortable moment, but it was filledwith tension and fear. From when we'd seen Rose disappear into the water, towhen she'd appeared, everyone had been stressing, panicking. Everyone exceptfor me. I'd once thought I didn't care about anything, and maybe that was moretrue than I realised. There'd been abrief and unnerving silence as Rose entered the room, her lips blue and herface drained of blood, and then everyone had rushed to accommodate her.Now,barely five minutes later, Rose was shivering, but fine. She'd grabbed two mugsof hot chocolate and had already drained the contents of one and was startingon the other. "Why didyou jump?" I asked Rose, seemingly idly. Rose sighed."I toldeveryone already." She answered, not looking up from her hot chocolate."That youwere looking to relive your glory days." I repeated, my voice dripping withdisdain. Rose turned and glared at me."Do youwant to know what I think?" I asked. Rose raised an eyebrow, shrugged andnodded, as if it couldn't possibly matter."I thinkthat's partly true, I think you did want to remember those times, but I thinkyou were looking for something to make you want to live. You wanted to be dragged under and be caught by this instinctthat would make you fight, make you care." I said harshly. Rose met my eyes andnodded subtly.I stood up,shrugging off the blanket, and walking over to where Rose was. I crouched on myankles, eye to eye with Rose, my hair hanging over me."And didit work?"Rose'seyes flicked towards the ground and then back up to my face."What doyou think?"DylanEveryonehad gone crazy. They were all absolutely insane. It was like some kind of weirdPrepsworth twist; like, "Hah, you thought you could go to some beach house andactually have a good time, nope! You've got to deal with one person goingcliff-diving, another throwing plates everywhere and basically everyone goingout of their minds! Have a nice time!". We were all sitting still, haunted, andif we had a conversation, it was whispered between two people. We sat,possessed, looking at each other, waiting for someone else to speak. Thecurtains were drawn, blocking out the day, and it felt much later than noon. Iwanted to leave the room, but couldn't stomach going back to my room, with theempty bottles of alcohol piled up on the table. "I wouldstart talking and cause some kind of happy, "We're all amazing friends" moment,but every time someone does that, Rose ends up doing something stupid, soinstead, I'm just going to ask for another hot chocolate."" I said dryly, andElle smirked."There'snone left, but if you come with me, I'll get some from the kitchen." Elle said,and I stood up and followed her out, and to one of the smaller kitchens. Elle passed the few hot chocolates lined up onthe bench, to my surprise and perched on the counter next the fridge, raisingher eyebrows at me as I followed , before stopping, facing her."What?" Ilaughed."You clearly wanted to get out of that room.So, tell me what's going on." Elle explained, tucking a stray curl behind herear."Do younot get that everyone had gone a little..." I trailed off, making a twirlingmotion with my finger next to my ear and crossing my eyes."Crazy?Yeah." Elle answered, smiling, before seeing my expression hadn't altered froma solemn one."What isit? Are you worried?" Elle asked,halfway between incredulous and amused. I smiled slightly and looked at theground."Well,when someone's sitting alone in a room full of smashed furniture, it's not thegreatest sign." I said, not sure howElle would react. Elle raised her eyebrows at me."Yeah,well, your coping mechanism isn't that great, either." Elle said, but her voicewas teasing. I raised my hands up and took a step back."Okay,okay, I apologise." I joked. "And, forthe record, I agree with you. We're all falling apart. But. maybe that's a good thing. Maybe beingbroken isn't as bad as everyone thinks it is." Elle mused."Is thatwhat you think we are? Broken?" I asked, already knowing the answer. Ellesmirked bitterly."Withouta doubt." Elle answered."Andwe're all going to break each other further." I whispered. Elle nodded, thenlooked at the ground.
"It's funny, you know. I'm not afraid of being broken, not anymore." Elle murmuredsoftly. I nodded, smiling at the ground, until looking up, tears sparkling inmy eyes. I grabbed two hot chocolates and passed one to Elle, who leanedforward, her elbows touching her knees."Cheers –to being broken." Elle said, raising her chin, her eyes shining with adetermined gleam. I clinkedmy mug against hers, meeting her eyes,"Cheers."