You're Not Alone

•42•

~flashback~
Pt.2

I take a bite from my sandwich and chew slowly, trying to savor every bite. For some reason my stomach doesn't feel great and I don't have much of an appetite.

Around me people are having conversations and smiling away. I feel my heartbeat in my ears... Everyone's faces morph into bloody and battered skulls. It looks as if they were all murdered. Between Jean and Connie is Marco. Beside Sasha is Mina. Laying in the middle of the picnic blanket is my mom. She's torn in half and her head is twisted so it's looking at me backwards.

I can't move. The sandwich falls into my lap as I stare in horror at the scene before me. I blink a few times trying to make it go away, but it won't.

My breath quickens and I begin to hyperventilate. I feel my hands begin to shake as they lay limply at my sides.

"Sophie..."

"Sophie..."

"Hey! Soph!"

I feel Sasha pull at my arm and I turn to look at her. She's completely fine. The others have gone back to normal and the bodies of my mother and friends have disappeared as well.

"What's wrong?" Christa asks me with her big blue eyes staring at me with concern.

"N-nothi- I have to go!" I stand up and run off into the woods that surround our HQ building.

"Sophie! Wait!" I hear the others yell, but my legs burn with purpose. I need to get away from everyone.

Once I'm deep within the cover of trees I collapse against a tree and scream in misery. My heart is tight and I can't breathe. My fingers claw at the tree bark, cashing the skin on my fingertips to split open.

My body slowly falls and I sit on my knees, my arms and head against the tree. I feel my forehead being cut by the bark, but I don't care.

"Make it stop..." I beg into the emptiness around me. "Please make it stop."

No one followed me out here, so I cry without shame. Soon the cries turn into weeps and screams. My abdomen is sore from the effort it takes to get out every last tear.

I thought I was fine....My tears stopped completely back in the room with Jean. I'm not okay though. Nothing about me is okay.

I'm hurting so much. What am I supposed to do with this short straw of a life I was given. Who is expected to be okay with any of this.

My fists ball up and I bang them against the trunk of the tree. The force of it breaks a couple of the bones in my fingers.

I cry more. Scream more.

Finally running out of energy, I turn around and put my back against the tree and collapse into myself. The effort to hold my body up is no longer there.

My eyes remain closed as I continue to let the infinite amount of tears fall from my hazel eyes.

The ground is layered with dirt and pinecones.
I open my eyes and I brush away a spot for me to lay down that won't have anything poking into my skin. My head is placed on a soft patch of grass and I hug my knees to my chest.