You're Not Alone

•92•

Jean answers the door, his hair wet like he just got out of a shower. His eyes usually light up when he see's me, but right now he looks exhausted.

"Hey," I press my lips together and then clench my jaw, feeling the pressure from his gaze. "Can I come in?"

"Sure," he steps aside and once I'm in the room, he closes the door behind us.

I look at his bed, seeing a towel laid across it and his old clothes in a pile on the floor beside it. Jean is only wearing pajama pants and no shirt. I can clearly see the bruises forming on his abdomen from where Eren punched him.

"Are you hurt?" I reach out to touch the bruise, but he grabs a hold of my hand pushes it back.

"I'm fine," he sits on his bed, not making eye contact with me.

"Jean I'm sorry I didn't tell you," I feel my voice shake, trying not to get worked up. "I just- I wasn't ready. I felt useless and I was trying to figure out what I was supposed to do without having to rely on the power I took from my dad. I was stuck in my own head and I just needed time to process everything."

"But why couldn't you come to me?" He places his hands on his knees and looks up at me. "I could've helped you. All I want is to make sure you're okay and obviously you were going through a tough time and I didn't even know. That hurts me."

"I didn't want you to feel bad. I wasn't trying to keep it from you," I sit beside him. "I was going to tell you, I just wanted to get thing in order first. I needed to come to terms with it. It's kind of an adjustment going from being able to defend myself with a 15 meter tall Titan to just using blades. I'm scared... I can't heal myself anymore and I'm terrified that I'm not as good as everyone thinks I am."

"Sophie-"

"I don't want to die," my voice cracks. "I got so comfortable with knowing that my body would heal from pretty much anything. But now what? One wrong move and I'm back inside a Titans stomach and there's no coming back."

"Sophie you don't realize how strong you are. Yes you had some giant Titan to control, but that's not what made you so valuable. It's the fact that you're incredibly smart and a great addition to the Scouts. You're not just some girl, you're a soldier."

Jean takes my hand, pulling me into his chest. His hands wrap around me and I start to cry while he rubs circles on my back.

"You see things that most people don't and can find peoples weaknesses within seconds of fighting them. That's an amazing skills that people wish they had. Sophie you doubt yourself too much. I believe in you and so does everyone else. You just have to believe in yourself."

"I'm sorry," I take in a sharp breath, trying to calm myself down. "I just don't want to die."

"You're not going to. I won't let anything happen to you," he kisses the top of my head. "I love you, Sophie."

I pull away from him, wiping the tears from my face. Jean smiles, tucking one of my stray pieces of hair behind my ear.

"I love you too, Jean."

He gives me another warm smile and I collapse back in the bed, kicking my feet out while I stare at the ceiling. Jean lays down beside me, doing the same thing.

"So... why do you keep picking fights with Eren?" I turn my head and rest my cheek on the bed while looking at Jean.

"Because it's fun and you always get worked up, which makes you scrunch your cute little nose and it's adorable, so I try my best to see it as often as I can. If that means I have to bicker with Eren, then I'll gladly do it."