𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝘆𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗱𝗼𝗹𝗮𝗻

The worst kind of love

"Is this what we both want?" Grayson asked as he swallowed with red eyes.

I reluctantly nodded my head "I don't want it but it's what we have to do, isn't it?" I looked at him, fighting back all my willpower to disagree with the idea.

He looked like he was having a hard time to talk, it was so hard that he couldn't even look at me "yeah".

We looked at our own laps for awhile, contemplating in our heads if this really was the right thing to do. The question that had so many answers made me actually want to scream.

"This is the right thing to do...right?" The hesitance and pain that entwined through my voice gave away how marginally against I was with this decision.

He bit his lip and still couldn't look at me, he tightly shut his eyes like he wished none of this was real "yeah," his voice cracked "of course it is, it's either this or...".

"We tell them" I spoke for him and continued to stare at nothing "I love him so much and I can't break his heart like that, it kills me when I think about it" I spoke the painful truth of my thoughts.

He let what I said sink in "she's my first love. I promised her I'd never break her heart." he still wouldn't dart a single glance at me "she's about to be a Mom y/n. I can't leave her. I love her" I could hear him struggle to say that "if she found out what I did..." he shook his head like he couldn't even think about it "she needs me, I'm supposed marry her."

Every word he said punched my heart. Before, I didn't really understand that saying, 'the truth hurts', but now? Now I do. I got the raw reality of it and it really fucking sucks.

We sat on opposite sides of the bed, no one saying a word. I knew he didn't want to leave, I didn't want him to go. The pain my body was in right now made me actually want to throw up or cover up my bleeding wounds with bandages, the bandages being Grayson but I didn't have him to stop the bleeding anymore.

"Y/n" his cut up voice sunk into the air and hung heavily "I love you".

In the movies, when the partner first says 'I love you', it's a magical and beautiful thing. There's usually a few tears and a very cheery 'I love you too' but not in my case. The 'I love you' I received was nothing but painful and it made me feel as though my stomach had been ripped out. It wasn't a beautiful and happy 'I love you' that all the movies made it out to be it was a sad and torturous beautiful that didn't have any beauty in it. It was just sorrow, pure sorrow and a sick way to say goodbye. I hated it.

"I love you too" a single tiny drop of water pooled in my emerald green eye and rolled down my cheek mercilessly.

I heard him stand up and begin walking towards my window. I looked over my shoulder to see him about to climb out. I stood up and quickly walked after him where I reached out and grabbed his arm, instantly getting a flashback of the time I first grabbed his arm and the night we made love for the first time, God it felt like it happened yesterday.

He stood still and didn't do anything for a few moments before he turned around reluctantly and actually flinched when his eyes met mine. I sniffled and tried to savour the image of what his face looked like the best I could. I knew I was going to miss it. I had to hold it, touch it at least. My touch-deprived fingertips slid up his cheek until my entire hand felt his beautiful blush skin. I wanted to savour every last drop of his beauty before it was gone forever.

I could see a thick line of water on the rim of his eyes as if he was watching his worst nightmare finally come true. I watched him slowly lean into my hand and that was when he lost it. A sob erupted from his throat and cascaded into the air as tears came spilling out of his eyes.

He placed his hand on top of mine to hold my hand in place like he didn't want it to go anywhere. My heart fell apart as I watched him push his face into my hand, I could barely make out a 'please' that he kept repeating in a nonexistent whisper. It was like he was literally just mouthing the words from how quiet it was. Hearing it just made my heart shatter more.

He turned his face and kissed my palm over and over again with his broken lips and broken kisses. I could tell he was trying to fight back every nerve in his body to not stay, no matter how horrible it was he knew how right it was and that made it all the more harder to go. He wanted to soak up my touch and how my hands felt and for him, that was what made him realise that this was all happening.

He pulled my hand away and wiped his eyes, knowing that if he held it any longer, he'd break. His eyes looked so sore as he stared into mine, where was the gorgeous shine and brown color that I loved staring into?

"G-goodbye kiss?" The final seed of hope inside me had burst with those two words.

His eyes twitched but he nodded his head and sniffled.

The final time I stood on my tip toes, the final time I touched his face, the final time I felt his lips touch mine. Our kisses used to be so loving and so passionate but now it was suddenly so miserable. It didn't feel the same, it didn't feel right. It didn't feel like my baby's lips. Where did they go?

It was too hard, too unbearable. I left his lips to get cold as a sob spilled out of my mouth. My forehead fell onto his as tears slipped from my eyes every few seconds. God, this was so hard. Why was this so hard?

I pulled my forehead away and looked away from him, not being able to look at him anymore. My eyes tightly squeezed shut "go" the word was barely audible "please" it was just pathetic sounds leaving my lips that were meant to fall in the form of words.

My heart tied into a knot and watched him walk away while my eyes didn't dare to open. And just as my body started to miss his presence and warmth, I opened my eyes and he was gone.

This was kind short for me lmao

DON'T WORRY part two for best friends brother is coming but I still need to finish writing it, structuring it, editing it, grammar checking and blah blah blah. I just really want this to live up to your guys' expectations and don't want to disappoint you so I keep having to scrap storylines as I end up not being happy with them so please bear with me, I'm really trying to make it good🥺.

Anyways I hope you liked this little imagine that I thought of and you enjoyed reading it.

I love you guys a lot, thank you for being patient🤍