𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝘆𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗱𝗼𝗹𝗮𝗻

Sympathy sex

I softly closed the front door, stepping into the house. 

I peeled my black flats off of my feet and placed them in the wooden shoe box. 

I glanced into the mirror that hung on the wall, a face with a cold and pale demeanour reflected back to me. My black dress pulling the scene together nicely, a girl with a heart so fragile finally broke into pieces. 

A warmth chilled my skin and I was now confined in his comforting arms. His arms that didn't seem to be as loving as I wanted them to be. Longing for his warming body that now felt so cold. My broken heart took away my sense of feeling and stole the sensation of his skin touching mine.

"Babe, how bout' I run you a nice hot bath? It could be a good way to let go" he smiled at me through the mirror

I slightly shook my head. My voice was quiet with a trail of dispair "no, no I....I think I'm going to sleep, yeah, i'm just going to go to sleep" 

I left his grip and padded towards the stairs. I ran my hand along the banister and slowly pulled my feet along the steps. 

I closed the bedroom door and sat down on the edge of the mattress. My eyes fixed to the floor and my hands were placed in my lap. A droplet of pain pooled in my eye before slithering down my cheek and falling off my chin, falling deep into the fabric of my dress. Disappearing in seconds. That single droplet of water made everything even more real. 

Reality was kicking in and it was slowly killing me. 

His knuckles hit softly, making a noise quite muffled fill the room. He came towards me with a reflection of sadness and self doubt. He sat down next to me and my head fell into the crook of his neck. I started to cry. My tears were now uncontrollable. He 'shh'd' me and told me how he sorry he was. I just sobbed, letting my sadness free. 

It was a throbbing pain. A wound that would continue to bleed. I wanted it to stop, I needed it to stop. Even if it was just a temporary solution, I needed to numb the pain. 

I pressed my lips against his neck, before planting another, another and another. My lips trailed up his skin and ran along his jawline. I gripped his shirt between my fingers and pulled him towards me. I laid down on the bed, with him on top of me.

"Babe..." he mumbled. I pressed my lips onto his stopping him from speaking.

"Y/n" he broke the contact and stared into my eyes  "we can't do this"

"Just make the pain go away" I whispered "please make love to me" my voice was gone words were just falling out of my mouth. I was to tired to care. 

He ran his finger over my cheek "baby i'd love to but it isn't the right thing to do"

My eye shedded another tear "Grayson, please" I stared at him "make me forget"

"Sweetie, I wish I could but you're not thinking straight. You're hurting and you're trying to cope which I understand completely, believe me I do but you don't want this. Your mind wants it but your heart doesn't. I wish I could take your pain away but this isn't the right way to do it" He spoke softly with a hint of guilt 

My lips parted and I stared at him "my heart.....all my heart wants is love as my heart right now....is broken and all I want to do is fix it. I don't care if i'll regret it because all I want right now.... is an escape. Grayson, I've just seen my mom, in a casket, dead and the only thing I want to do, is for you to make love to me, please Grayson"

He planted the softest kiss onto my lips and stared into my eyes "baby, listen to me. You are a wise woman, okay? And I want our first time to be special, just like you do. If we did anything right now, you'd regret it. You need to grieve and build yourself back up again. I love you, y/n and I'm sorry, I truly am"

"Fine" I whispered "whatever" I pushed him off of me and got under the quilt. I snuggled into the mattress. A warm arm wrapped around me and pulled me towards them. He kissed my head and tangled are legs together 

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" 

Another tear slid down my cheek 

Make the pain go away 

Yikes this was sad 

I kinda liked it tho lol