Epicenter Tape #2: Point in Time

#PIT41

#PIT41

More Than Enough

Napakurap-kurap ako sa sariling sinulat na pamagat, kumunot ang noo ko at agad iyong pinunit sa pag-iinit ng pisngi. I can't believe I wrote such cheesy title! I crumpled it and pretended it was a ball to shoot into the trash bin, I blew an air as I leaned my back on the backrest of my study chair—I lifted my head as my mind started to think about not so cheesy title for the song I wrote, iyong ba-bagay na hindi masyadong mahaba at cringe-y basahin.

I just finished it after long months, I actually changed some words and verses so it wouldn't seem too much. I stared at the sky through the window pane, I could hear the sound of the six in the evening wind as the branches of the tree danced with how it blows. My mind couldn't think straight, still. Naliliyo ako sa panunuod sa puno, inaantok ako sa simoy ng hanging pumapasok sa bintana ng silid ko.

I couldn't help but think about those road trip nights with Tanner alone; the night when I felt lonely, the night of my birthdays, the night when I got my first kiss with him and many more I could certainly remember like those nights would never leave my memory of good nights.

Isang oras akong nakatulala sa labas ng bintana pero wala akong naisip at pakiramdam ko ay masyado akong naaliw roon, suminghap ako at napatuwid nang mag-vibrate ang cellphone ko sa study table.

My flying mind immediately flew back to life.

Tanner:
Hang out tonight?

Pumangalumbaba ako habang nakatingin sa text niya, may sumunod pa roon kaya umangat ang mga kilay ko.

Tanner:
Mali pala

Was it wrong sent? Sino naman kayang inaaya niya ng hang out? Kung hindi para sa akin iyon, kanino? Wala naman kaming usapan ngayon kaya baka sa iba nga dapat iyon. And here I was thinking that we couldn't see each other on his birthday this whole day because he told me they have a busy schedule! Kaya binati ko na lang siya ng saktong twelve ng madaling araw kanina, e.

I bought him a present but I don't have the face to tell him that I did, baka isipin niya pang masyado akong ma-effort kahit hindi pa ako girlfriend. Tanner doesn't care about his birthday, though. Normal nga lang iyong responde niya sa pagbati ko sa call kanina kaya mas nahihiya akong magbigay ng regalo.

I was about to type when he sent a follow-up text, I stopped and read.

Tanner:
Date me tonight.

Nanliit ang mga mata ko.

Ako:
The hang out tonight wasn't for me?

Tanner:
Hahaha, it was for you. I just used a wrong term.

Ako:
That's your usual invitation. What's wrong with it? Or maybe you invited someone else to hang out?

Tanner:
Yeah but I want a date, not just a hang out tonight.

Tanner:
Not that I want you to feel jealous

Tanner:
Pero kinikilig ako pag nagseselos ka

I wheezed at the last text, parang sasabog sa init ang mukha ko at awtomatikong hinilig ko ang mukha sa study table para pakalmahin ang sarili.

He's cute. Damn him.

Ako:
Am I the man here?

To be honest, he always makes me flush but I wasn't showy like him. I don't wanna get caught because it might bring him high confidence and see me easy. Hindi naman sa bawal ang kiligin pero ayaw kong magpakita, it was my own way to secure my hard suit as a girl who wouldn't be gotten so easy.