Epicenter Tape #2: Point in Time

#PIT23

#PIT23

I'm kinda guilty about what I said to him earlier--the a-hole word and some bad names because of my irritation. And yet he's here to be a listener, I honestly feel the comfort with him more than any other. Feels that I can share to him despite my affection.

Not like I'm setting aside my friends but I don't want to make them think about me especially that I see how they're struggling in college life.

Oo nga pala, busy rin naman si Tanner sa mga gawain nila bilang banda pero siya pa ang napili kong pagsabihan at makasama.

We parked on some gasoline station rounded with restaurants and convenience store, I just find it relaxing since this is already in Batangas and the place is peaceful at this kind of hour--we're just sitting on the pickup trunk while watching the passing cars; drinking some beer.

"What is this, by the way? Bakit iba 'yong lasa noong sa hideout?" tanong ko.

"That's just Smirnoff," he replied.

"What do you mean just? Hindi ba 'to nakakalasing?" lingon ko sa kanya.

He looks tired and sleepy but he can still smile, galing pa pala siya sa urgent meeting at rehearsal nila kanina at nagpababa lang siya sa hideout para magpahinga kaso hindi niya rin nagawa dahil naroon iyong kaibigan ni Ajax.

"Bakit, gusto mong malasing?" kunot noo niyang baling sa akin.

Kumamot ako sa ulo. "How can I vent out, then?"

I'm just lighting the atmosphere; I don't need to get drunk to talk. Pampalakas loob ko lang itong pagtikim sa beer, e.

He chuckled gruffly as he looked at me.

"Can't you vent out like that?"

I sipped my beer and puckered my lips.

"I'm not really sure!"

He made a face. "Oh, come on, Haw-haw! You know you can unleash it like that."

Umismid na lamang ako at natatawang sumimsim muli sa bote. My heart can't find the comfort hearing Dad's words earlier 'til now, it will never make me feel okay especially that it keeps ringing in my head.

I have so many questions.

"So... what's the matter?" he gently asked.

I didn't talk for a while and resume watching the passing cars on the road. We stopped over after his long hours of driving, ako lang din kasi ang nag-umpisang uminom habang nasa biyahe kaya boring.

"Don't tell me it's me?" he snorted jokingly.

I gasped and recoiled mockingly.

"Assuming! Bakit naman kita p-problema-hin? You're not that important—"

He cleared his throat. "Awe, ouch! Dahan-dahan naman."

I laughed; I could feel his eyes on me while chuckling. I feel like I'm gonna cry in this city, ang dami kong naiisip na gusto kong mailuha. My laughter slowly vanished, I sipped my beer and looked at my hanging feet.

"It's our family," I divulged lowly. "I heard D-Daddy..."

He didn't talk, he's just listening.

"He was talking to someone as if they're already planning to build a new home... get annulled with Mommy..." I shrugged. "I can't imagine having a broken family, I just hate that he's planning to leave us now that we've already come this far—I grew up with him, sanay na akong kumpleto kami, e. Sana noon pa lang iniwan na niya kami, 'di ba?"