Epicenter Tape #2: Point in Time

#PIT3

#PIT3

I could feel the uneasiness since yesterday especially after I dreamed about something uncertain, nagising ako kaninang madaling araw dahil sa panaginip na hindi ko matandaan kung ano iyon kaya hinatak ako ng antok at muling nakatulog.

Past ten in the morning when I woke up from a dream again, it was a clear picture this time; those familiar eyes with a lot of words to say that I couldn't read but felt as if the dream was real — as if he was looking at me with those broken eyes.

My breathing was uneven, I rose up from my bed and looked at the mirror of my dresser. The heaviness of my chest feels guilty for something that I can't understand, nagulat ako sa dalawang katok sa pinto kaya napalingon doon.

"Morning, Mavis! Are you up?" it's Emil. "Are you coming with me?"

"Yeah, susunod ako," wala sa sariling tugon ko.

"Alright, Tita prepared our breakfast. We'll be waiting!"

Huminga ako ng malalim at nagyuko, I don't what's with me but I feel so heavy like I've done something really off. As far as I could remember, I didn't do anything wrong. This isn't about Emil and friends anymore.

I took a shower, I decided to wear a yellow oversized printed shirt and ripped skinny jeans paired with highcut black converse. I bun my hair up and went downstairs to eat breakfast, parents and Emil are on the table already.

"How's your training, Emil?" Mommy asked joyfully. .

Normal akong naupo sa usual seat ko sa tapat ni Emil, I don't really wanna call him Kuya but I feel like I should — but no way.

"Great, we're all used to it now," Emil answered.

"Glad to hear that! I hope you love music more!"

"Are you enjoying the band?" si Daddy.

"Very, it's really entertaining to be in the band. We're all doing good, it's funny and easy!"

"Because you love what you're doing." Dad nodded with a smile. "That's good, Emil. Keep it up."

Bakit hindi sila ganyan sa akin? They both looked proud of Emil's path while I can't choose my own path!

Inalis ko iyon sa isip nang mag-umpisa na kaming kumain sabay-sabay. Kapag umaga naman talaga ay madalas kumpleto pero pinipili kong magpatanghali ng gising kapag walang pasok dahil hindi ko feel sumabay sa kanila.

They were always in hurry, anyway. Naiiwan din ako sa lamesa kalaunan, si Emil ay nagmamadali umalis para sa training habang sila Mommy ay sa business nila at Daddy sa office — everyone's just busy that they couldn't spend minutes to let me finish the breakfast.

I was lonely in this family. Mabuti pa si Emil may mga kaibigan at kasama sa dorm kaya hindi nararamdaman mapag-isa, I have Loti and friends but they also have limits to spend time with me. Sa bahay, ako na lang ulit mag-isa.

"Kumusta iyong kapatid mo? Magkikita kayo ngayon, 'di ba?"

Emil nodded. "Yes, Tita. He's in Manila to visit Sonic Sounds."

Nanlaki ang mga mata nila Mommy.

"Sonic Sounds? Isn't that your company's rival?"

"Yes, they already have a wing in front of Presonus."

"Oh! These companies!" sinapo ni Mommy ang kanyang noo habang natatawa.

Emil chuckled. "They're really doing their best to get in the way."

"Kaya nga!"

They were laughing about that.

"Isasama ko si Mavis sa amin ngayon..." Emil suddenly told.