Living Next To The Punk: Destel AU

chapter 12: explanation

"What did I I tell you exactly?" castiel asked nervously fidgeting with his jacket sleeves

"that you want to kill yourself, that you hate yourself, cas I'm worried," dean started

"dean I'm okay I'm not going to kill myself, I've started therapy hopefully that will help, with my dad how did you find out?" castiel asked hanging his head down

"I saw him punch you on Sunday. I tried to talk to you on Saturday but you wouldn't answer but then I saw you this morning I tried to talk to you but," dean explained

"therapy was let's just say difficult," castiel sighed trying to ignore the urge to cry, he looked away trying his best but he broke tears falling at all different speeds

"cas," Dean said showing his soft side and pulled cas into his chest held him

"shh your okay now, I won't let anyone hurt you,"

Castiel let out a little whimper and sob as a response.

The door opened and castiel flinched away from Dean

"is it him, my dad?" castiel asked quietly and panicky

"no cas its just the agent,"

Castiel lifted his head the agent had a worried expression written on his face

"now I really need to go but I'm here for the next 2 weeks alright, so if you need to tell me something anything I'm only one call away,"

Castiel nodded feeling a little safer. If anything happens to castiel there would be a number he could call

"thank you agent for everything," castiel sniffled

"no problem castiel, I need to get back to work,"

Morgan left and dean wrapped his arms around castiel once again moving them so they were laying down castiel eventually tired himself out crying while dean fell asleep listening to Castiel's slow breathing three hours later there was a loud banging on Castiel's door which woke up castiel

"dean wake up dean," castiel whispered and shook dean

"what," Dean mumbled

"my dad, go,"

Dean shot out of the bed quickly gave a kiss to Castiel's head as reassurance

"text me after he's gone," Dean said before jumping out of Castiel's window castiel quickly shut his window and rushed over to the door he sighed and opened it

His dad pushed castiel on the ground before he started to choke castiel

"WHY WERE THE FBI HERE?" his father screamed

"they weren't," castiel lied choking out

"YOUR LYING I SAW THE CARD,"

"f-fine they were I g-g-got lost in the woods I ran into one of them and they drop me home?" castiel choked out struggling to breath

"JASON STOP YOUR GOING TO KILL HIM," Castiels mother shouted

"WELL HE DESERVES IT HE THE REASON ANNAS DEAD,"

"Just let him go," his mother begged

"fine,"

Jason got off of castiel letting go of Castiel's neck

Castiel shot up coughing and gasping for air

"fag," his father said to him and slammed the door

Castiel fell to the floor and cried, he tried to scream but nothing came out, he was so sick of his father he really wanted to end it he was so close he lied to dean therapy wasn't going to work he was so tempted to just take the pills hiding in his room he wheezed cried until he heard his phone go off

He grabbed it and saw multiple texts from Dean

Dean: cas you okay

Dean: cas I'm really worried I saw your dad tackle you

Dean: please cas respond I saw your dad leave

Dean: do I need to call the police

Dean: if you don't respond I will call them

Castiel: I'm fine dean

Dean: Oh god cas I was so worried

Castiel: I can tell...

Castiel: why would you worry about me I'm just some loser that doesn't matter.

Dean: cas you are no such thing

Dean: you are kind, compassionate, you don't take shit from school kids or teachers

Castiel: I'm just tired I'm going back to sleep, sorry dean

Dean: oh, okay night cas :)

Castiel: night dean :)))))

Castiel sighed and placed his phone down his bed he rolled, tossed, turned and he couldn't get the urge to go away he needed to cut it would make him feel better,

He fumbled around with his sleeve pulling it up before grabbing his blade

He pushed it into his skin and sighed watching the blood drip down his arm he made many more he had a sadistic grin on his face as he watches blood pool down his arm he didn't bother to clean them he just pulled down his sleeve and placed his blade in his drawer, he walked downstairs grabbing his laptop

"cas can I talk to you?" his mother stopped him

"mum I'm really tired I really just want to go to bed," castiel said slightly annoyed

"it'll take just a minute alright,"

"fine,"

They walked into the kitchen and his mother already had pulled out a first ade kit

"arms," she commanded

"mum no, I'm fine," castiel said

"honey please just let me see," she said

"fine,"

Castiel gently pulled up his sleeves revealing cuts upon cuts upon cuts

"cas... you lied to me," she said gently grabbing disinfectant

"I even took away all your blades that I could find,"

"I'm sorry mum, dad he just,"

"I know,"

She cleaned Castiel's cuts and wrapped them

"wear a short sleeve tomorrow, I'll let you have a jacket for school but at home only a short sleeve,"

"but Gabe and Alfie what will I tell them, oh I wanna kill myself so I cut myself," castiel said getting angry

"They are too young to understand, you'll be fine,"

Castiel nodded

"can I go upstairs?" castiel asked

"yes, you can goodnight castiel,"

"night mum,"

castiel quickly ran up the stairs and watched youtube until it was his brothersbedtime he continued the hobbit till they fell asleep and he went to bed fallingasleep with 2 hours on Monday it wasannas anniversary of death school was going to be a nightmare everyone at the school knows about it.