Living Next To The Punk: Destel AU

chapter 23: why?

Jo walks up to take their order

" dean you want the usual, what about you," she looked over to cas

" I'll just have the roadhouse burger and a coke" castiel smiled timidly

"sure," she swayed away

"dean, I want a hug, please?" castiel asked feeling clingy

"of course my angel," dean stood up and sat on the other side of the booth and wrapped his arms around his favourite person's body,

"I would love for you to stay again, but I'm assuming you can't,"

"I wish I could," castiel whispered snuggling his head into deans chest

Once there food came out dean slipped out of the booth and sat back into his seat

They were eating and talking about anything, anything but what happened it was nagging dean he needed to know why cas attempted. After their last conversation, castiel could tell something was wrong with dean,

"dean?"castiel asked gently

"why cas?" dean whispered

"what do you mean?"

"Why did you attempt cas, i-I thought you were getting better," dean looked up at cas

"I thought so to dean but i- saw you almost get punched it was my fault, I should not have left you, oh god did you get punch are you okay?" castiel panicked

"no cas I didn't get punched im okay I'm more worried about you goddammit," dean smiled

"dean I just felt like shit I-I'm so close I said I was okay but I'm far from it my fathers getting more aggressive he wouldn't hit his perfect angels ever, I'm a screw up to him and I believe him, I don't know why you want to date me, god. I'm not skinny, I don't have good people skills, I'm a dick-

"CAS," dean yelled

Castiel jumped back in shock

"don't you dare speak like that, you're perfect the way you are, scars and all," Dean whispered

"no I am not dean, giant ugly scars dean, they can't be a turn on, I hurt my self almost daily, places that my mother will never see, I've been shot, no one cares about me, I could die and no one would care, you'd get over it," castiel sighed

"cas...... please stop I don't wanna lose you, I can't, I would fucking join you, please cas," dean begged

" you wouldn't dare dean, you wouldn't dare kill yourself because of me," castiel threatened  folding his arms

" cas I would, you mean so damn much to me, please," Dean pleaded

Something in deans voice made castiel snap tears were streaming fast and hard sobs racked his body

"i-I'm s-s-sorry," he sobbed

"Hey, hey come here," dean frowned and slid out his seat wrapping his arms around the sobbing boy.

"it's okay, I know it's hard, I've got you," dean comforted

"I d-don't deserve you,"

" god cas you deserve more thank I can give," dean whispered running his fingers through Castiel's hair

"God you make me so happy," castiel smiled

They sat there for a couple more minutes until someone decided to join them

"so, how long have you been screwing," jo asked sliding down on a seat in front of them laughing

"jo not a good time," Dean said clenching his jaw

"When is a good time?" she asked

"not now," Dean grumbled

Jo sighed and continued to harass them with questions like

'whose the top'

' whose the girl in the relationship. I bet it's him right it's him' she would say while pointing toward castiel

"JO, GET YOUR ASS GET BACK TO WORK, STOP HARASSING YOUR COUSIN AND HIS BOYFRIEND," another woman appeared at the door to the kitchen.

Jo sighed and got out of the seat, and the woman walked over

" sorry about her you know she still is crushing on you." Ellen sighed " anyway, who this lovely man?"

" This is castiel, and I love him very much,"

"I can tell, I heard you two shouting is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah we're fine, just something happened I can't say its personal,"

"Okay honey, I'm sure you two are okay now cause look at him," ellen nodded toward castiel who was leaning on deans chest he had his arms wrapped up and he was only sniffling

"God, I've been crying too much today, I'm sorry,"castiel gave a pitty laugh

"hey it's okay, crying is welcome here," ellen smiled

Castiel laughed and nodded softly

"now you too, how long have you been together?" ellen asked

" about two weeks,"

Ellen smiled,

" you two are welcome here anytime," ellen smiled once again " I'm really sorry about jo,"

"it's fine really,"

Ellen smiled

" can I get you a milkshake?" ellen ask almost already knowing the answer

"sure, what flavour do you want baby?" dean asked gently

"strawberry?"

"then strawberry it is," ellen smiled and walked away

Dean looked over and saw ellen hit jo over the head with a folded bit of paper and harshly whisper things to her while pointing at them 

Castiel stayed cuddled up to dean staying warm not too long ellen placed the milkshake in front of them with two straws

"cas babe," dean nudged cas

Castiellooked up and saw the milkshake and smiled like a kid on Christmas