The Christmas holidays (53)

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The Weasleys had invited me over to the Burrow for Christmas but since I knew this would happen, Snape, Draco, and I had already come up with a plan. We were sitting at lunch when Ron asked me; 

"I would love to Ron, but I've got to stay back for Advanced Potions and my parents have already agreed, they've gone on holidays," I explained making sure Harry and Hermione could both hear me. I knew Harry would be checking the marauders' map during the holidays and giving him a reason for seeing Draco and me together on it during christmas what I was looking for. 

"Is Draco also staying?" Harry asked which I expected he would. 

"I suppose." I shrugged trying to act indifferent. 

My plan seemed to have worked, the trio didn't question me about it again and Draco and I had avoided much contact during the last few days before the holidays to avoid further suspicions. Draco also told me that it had been incredibly hard to get Pansy to leave for the holidays since she was keen on staying with Draco. 

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Finally, it was the day for everyone to leave for Christmas, I had accompanied Neville and Luna to the train and I had a nice chat with Luna on the way bringing some distance between us and Neville which wasn't too hard given his stature and long legs. 

"Luna I'm sorry about you and Theo." I sympathized with her. I knew Theo was just staying away from her to protect her and I just wish I could tell Luna about itit. 

"It's ok, he must be feeling terrible, his dad in Azkaban and all. I just wish he wouldn't feel so alone, I still like him very much." She smiled kindly. I didn't understand how she could do it, how she could be such a beautiful soul despite everything going on. " I'm sure Draco must feel similar too, I hope he talks to you during Christmas, you can tell he really loves you." She turned to look at me and I had never heard her sound so sure about something. 

I smiled and nodded more to myself. We had arrived and we made a stop, I stepped forward and held Luna in a tight embrace. "Merry Christmas Luna." 

"Merry Christmas y/n" She smiled and walked on the train. 

I then went to bid Neville goodbye hugging him tighter than I had ever before. "Please be careful Nev, love you," I told him while we were still in a hug. 

"You too, Merry Christmas, love you." He said as he made his way on the train as well. 

I watched as the train parted feeling incredibly strange, knowing that once they were back everything would be different. That I could potentially lose Neville or Luna, or the trio if they found out what I was involved in. I shook the feeling off as I walked alone back to the castle. 

While I made it to the top I felt a lot of emotions running through me, I looked up and saw Draco leaning against the doorway. It was almost like he knew what I would be feeling I didn't even have to say anything before he extended his arms towards me. I walked forward and let myself fall into his embrace. I started crying slightly and he didn't say anything just held me. 

Once I had calmed down a bit I straightened back up "Thank you." I whispered to Draco and he kissed my forehead. He held his hand out and I took it. We walked inside the castle and I turned back for a second and saw Snape had been watching us from an archway. He looked conflicted but I could barely get a better look as I followed Draco on.  

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Draco and I spent the first few days of the holidays in the library grabbing books on cruses and anything that might help us and in the potions classroom reading them. We had also been making random potions in case a professor or student decided to pop their head in. 

Apart from this Draco and I had been finding ourselves sneaking around at night to the room of requirements repeating what had happened the night of the Party. I found this to be one of the only good things about this arrangement, being with Draco. 

After one of the nights we spent together we were on a sofa we had found in the room of requirements. He was laying with his back on the armrest and I was in between his legs, his arms were over my shoulder, and resting on my chest where I had a bed sheet over me.

"We're getting pretty good at this." Draco whispered making me giggle. 

"I love being like this, with you." I looked back to meet his eyes, he kissed my forehead. 

"Me too, I wish we could stay like this forever." He sighed. I grabbed his hands and kissed them. 

"In another life Draco." I sighed as well. 

"y/n." He called me in a serious tone making me feel slightly worried. 

"yes." I gestured for him to go on. 

"When the day comes, I have to be the one to do it ok?" He spat out making me sit up, pulling the bed sheet with me, and facing him. 

"Draco we have to do it together." I tried to argue knowing deep down it was of no use. 

"No, I have to do it. y/n you're not like this, you're not a murderer" He argued with me. 

"Neither are you Draco!" I felt myself getting heated up. "He is, He is the murderer, neither of us are anything like him. You're nothing like your father Draco, we were just dragged into this." I tried to remind him.

I could see his eyes start to water, filled with pain. "y/n I can't let you do this, you can't be the one to do it...please." His voice cracked at the last words. I hated seeing him like this, my heart shattered at the sight. 

I shifted forward and in between his legs again but this time I was facing him. I placed my hand on his cheek "Ok, I won't be the one to do it, but I will be right there with you." I told him. He was about to argue once more but I leaned down to kiss him stopping him from saying anything else. "I don't want to hear anymore," I whispered into his lips as we continued. 

_____

The next day I woke up in Draco's embrace still in the room of requirements with the bedsheet over us. My head was on his chest and he was using his arm as a pillow. 

"Draco." I whispered running my fingers through his hair. 

He squeezed his eyes before opening them "y/n?" He looked down at me. 

I started laughing "We fell asleep." I whispered half laughing. 

"Sh*t." He laughed as well. 

We got up and looked around for our clothes since it was nearly time for breakfast we decided I'd leave first and make my way to the Gryffindor common room to clean myself up a bit and Draco would leave after, then we would arrive at breakfast from separate ways so no one would suspect a thing. Given that there were barely any students at school our plan seemed to work perfectly except for the part where neither of us could take the smirk off our faces during the whole day. 

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