I only want to be yours

thirty

Just wanted to fuck around and update again😍

•Sydney•

I was tired of sulking in my bed. I had a two days of crying my fucking eyes out and now it's time to push my feelings down and make everyone think it's going great for me. It was also owls today so I couldn't miss that.

I got ready and looked in the mirror as I put a big smile on my face like I always do. I strolled out of the Ravenclaw common room as I made my way to the great hall. I sat down next to Draco which looked confused as to why I was smiling. "Are you okay?" He asked.

"I am great why are you asking?" I muttered turning to him.

"Because your-"

"-ah ah ah we don't speak of that, if that comes up i will simply break down which I am not going to do." I smiled through the pain.

"Sydney just talk to me please" he pleaded.

"There is nothing to talk about, now we have a full day of owls, see you later" I smiled as I gave him a kiss and walked away letting out a shaky breath.

I first took potions then transfiguration then charms. I took a break as all the professors thought it was good for us. Then after that was history of magic and lastly astronomy.

I flopped down on my bed and from my long day I wanted alcohol. Yes it's a coping thing, it's not going to kill me.

I strolled to the only place I know keeps alcohol in the school "Blaise! Alcohol." I stated "alcohol where could you be" I muttered.

"You need a drink?" He asked standing up.

"Yes I do maybe 2 maybe 3" i giggled.

"Syd that's not good, please don't" he muttered pushing me away from the cabinet that held of the drinks.

"No I just don't want to feel right now so please move out of my way." I stated.

"This is exactly what happened with Draco syd and everything turned out fine without the alcohol. Just please listen to me syd, you don't want to do this." He announced.

"Blaise move the fuck out of my way it's not going to kill me" I scoffed as I moved closer to him trying to move him out of my way.

"No! Because Sydney it runs-" he cut himself knowing what he was going to say and that was a big fucking mistake.

"It's runs in my family?! You are fucking kidding zabini! I cannot BELIVE YOU!" I shouted.

"Calm the fuck down lockheart! I am getting Draco, I am not dealing with this" he scoffed walking out of the room with the key to the alcohol cabinet.

"Fuck" I muttered.

Not even two seconds later the tall boys walked in as Draco ran to me "you don't need alcohol!" He shouted so it made it into my head but I didn't care.

"I don't care Draco!" I spat back. I started to pace around the room "I just want the fucking key so I can fucking forget and drink!" At this point I started to break down "just let me have this one thing! I have never had anything in my life just give me the alcohol!" I shouted over my tears.

"No Sydney." He stated.

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Fucking hell!" I shouted storming out. I was walking past the couch in the common room when two girls appeared out of no where.

"Oh is little miss perfect sad" pansy pouted as Cassie laughed along with her.

"Not right now" I stated.

"Oh what the fuck are you going to do" she scoffed. You know what I am going to do pansy? I am going to bash your fucking head in the floor.

I bolted straight to her and hit her right across the face. "Oh you bitch" she laughed standing up and hitting me too.

I punched her to the ground as I sat her lip start to bleed along with her eye start to become purple. Looks good.

Someone pulled me off "fuck you pansy, go to hell" I spat at her.

"Oh you bitch! You belong down there because you are nothing more than a worthless whore" she stated which made my blood boil. I wanted to chuck her off the fucking astronomy tower.

"Get off me" I stated looking back to see Theo holding me back and picking me up by my legs throwing me over his shoulder and walking me up to the boys room.

"Sydney just fought pansy." Theo stated pushing me onto the bed as the boys looked confused.

"What! You did what!" Draco shouted.

"She was pissing me off" I stated leaning back.

"Fuck well did you beat her at least?" He turned to me.

"Well of fucking course I did." I laughed.

"That's my girl" he grinned as he pulled me in by the waist.

"But we are all still worried for you Sydney. You can talk to us and we will be there for you." He gave a soft smile.

"Fine, I will tell you." I muttered sitting back down. I told them everything from how all my life I try and push my emotions down and to I always had no one and how I just wanted a mum and they listened. They listened and it was nice.

Hey lol