Spencer Reid's Daughter

Part 25

You were woken up by light talking around you, you felt the plane land but you just relaxed on your dad's shoulder, you didn't want to go home and face what you knew was going to happen. Change. You just stayed there until your dad slowly got up and said, "y/n, it's time to get up sweetie, you can sleep at home but I need you to grab your bags." You reluctantly got up and grabbed your stuff. As you walked off the jet, Henry and Jack both waved goodbye, you did the same while yawning. As you were walking to the parking garage, you heard someone run up behind you, it was Henry. He gave you a hug and said, "Bye y/n, I'll see you later!" You were so excited, you felt your soul being lifted, you felt not alone. You both pulled away and said, "Goodbye Henry!" He walked back to the car with his mom, you saw your dad just smile and wink at JJ, they were very excited about the two of you. When you got in the car, you just went to sleep. Though it was only 8PM, cases made you very tired, and you didn't get much sleep the night before. You laid your head against the cold window and listened to the classical music your father put on the radio. He knew you loved to listen to it while you slept. You felt the car pull into your garage, although you were awake, you didn't budge. He chuckled and realized he was going to have to carry you in the house, "Okay, fine." You heard him open the car door and felt his large hands pick you up. He carefully carried you to your bed upstairs and tucked you in, "Good night sweetie." He pulled the covers over you and walked out of the room turning off the light. You quickly dozed off, not trying to think about the changes that would soon occur. - The next morning, you woke up surprisingly early at 7AM. You remembered what conversation you were soon to have. Your anxiety took over and you got very nervous about it. "It won't be that bad, I'll just tell him I want to talk to Emily about it." What if he sends me to a mental hospital, I can't go there. All of these thoughts were spiraling in your head, then your dad knocked on the door. No, the moment you dreaded. You said, "Come in." He walked in your room and said, "Hey sweetie, I was wondering if today, we could talk about some changes we could make to help you get better?" You were thinking about just saying no and just ignoring him, but you decided not to. You looked down and said, "Yeah, tonight." He just nods and says, "Okay." He slowly walked out of the room and you just layed back in bed. You didn't like change, you never did. You had accepted that this would be your life for so long. Always miserable until you built up the courage to end it all, but now, that was all going to change tonight. You knew your dad was frustrated with this, he didn't show it, but you could tell he was tired of seeing new scars on your arm every day. You realized that starting tonight, your dad would hover you and be more overprotective than he already is.

The day passed by quickly, you only went out of your room to get food, or at least act like you were getting it. You couldn't eat due to the anxiety but you didn't want your dad to worry even more. You went downstairs and took some chips upstairs to your room. You just put them under your desk for later. You just sat on your bed and read. You read the same books you have already read for almost three hours until your dad came to check on you. He quietly knocked on the door and asked, "y/n, are you okay in there, you haven't come out in a-" You interrupted him with a slight attitude, "I'm fine!" His attitude changed completely, "Umm, okay. I was just checking in on you." You just ignored him and listened to his footsteps walk down the stairs, that's when you decided you would cut for the last time. You began to get up from your bed and walk to your bathroom. You opened the cabinet under your sink and reached in the very back to grab one of your blades, you had many hiding spots for them. You grab it and then sit on the tile floor. You didn't want your dad to see so you decided to do it on your thigh. You pulled your sweatpants down just enough to see where you wanted it. You looked at the blade one more time and whispered to yourself, "One last time, maybe this time it will work." With that, you pressed the blade firmly against your fragile skin, it went in even farther than you had ever gone. In less than five seconds, the silver crayon had colored red on your body. Satisfied with the mark, you stood up and pulled your sweatpants back on and continued with your day. Even when you didn't feel necessarily depressed, you got some sort of high doing it. You didn't know what it was but you always felt the need to do it. This time was different, you actually wanted to die. The day passed by slowly yet very fast at the same time. All day, you just watched TV in your room and read. Before you knew it, it was already 6:45PM. Your stomach began to growl so you walked downstairs to fix something to eat. Your dad never cooked much so you always had stuff in the freezer. You opened it to find some frozen chicken nuggets and mac-and-cheese. You both still ate like a kid. You began to heat your food, not looking up at your dad who you could visibly see in the living room. You wanted your food to hurry up so you could rush back up to your room, but it was too late. He looked up and asked, "Why don't you eat down here?" You froze in your tracks and stopped at the bottom of the stairs holding your kids meal. You turned around and said, "Sure." You slowly walked over to the couch where he was sitting, you sat on the opposite side of him. He could tell you were being weird but he knew that you had every right to be. He knew you were nervous about tonight. He turned the TV to a history documentary and said, "y/n, it's okay to be nervous, but I promise, it's nothing to worry about. We're just going to talk about how we can help you." You sort of awkwardly smiled and went back to eating your food. You ate slowly to stall because you knew he was going to get it over with once you finished. You felt a slight sting in your thigh but you just ignored it, you enjoyed it a bit. You were onto your last bite, you could feel your dad watching you and looking at when you would be done. You stood up and walked to the trash can to throw it away, then, the dreaded words came out of his mouth, "Okay sweetie, let's go to my office and chat for a bit." For a second, you wished you were dreaming.