Spencer Reid's Daughter

Part 67

The next morning, you woke up in your bed. You got ready for the day and went downstairs to see your dad reading a pill bottle. Your pill bottle. You looked at him and he said, "y/n, come take your medicine." You walked over to him and he handed you a few pills, your normal antidepressants and a new pill. You looked at it as he poured you a glass of orange juice. You took the pill and swallowed the orange juice. You didn't like the way it went down your throat. You then grabbed something to eat and headed out the door with your dad.

Once you got to the office, you set your stuff down and began to read. You went to go get coffee, but you were stopped by Hotch. He called you into his office. Shivers went down your body, was he going to send you to a hospital again? You walked into his office and he motioned for you to sit down. You gulped as he began, "y/n, your dad told me about-" You gave him a serious look, "What? Are you going to send me to a mental hospital again...let me almost get kidnapped again." He began, "y/n, you know-" You crossed your arms and said, "No, I'm sorry, but my personal life is none of your business, why do you get to dictate what I do and what therapy I do. I mean, you aren't my dad so why are you trying to act like it? I-" He stopped you and spoke quiet but stern, "Because your dad can't tell you no."

You scooted back in your seat, what? You gave him a confused look, "What do you mean?" He raised his eyebrows and made a serious face, "He was going to send you to the hospital in the first place but he couldn't because apparently, you begged him sobbing to not make you go. Your dad is too sympathetic and consoling to tell you no. He asked me if I could tell you. He didn't want to be the bad guy because when your mom died, you blamed him." You yelled back, "He didn't let me see my mom right before she died!" He then said, "He didn't want you to see your mom die when you were five years-" You interrupted him quietly, "Four...I was four years old."

He looked at you confused, "I was showing her a new book I got, then, the monitors began to go off. Doctors came running in along with my dad. He picked me up and covered my face in his shoulder because he didn't want me to see her suffering. The last thing my mom said was, "I love you sweetie, don't forget that." After that, he sat me in a chair outside her room and went back in with her." He raised his eyebrows and said sadly, "You really do have an eidetic memory."

You sat back down on the couch and said, "So, you're gonna send me to the hospital again?" He sighed and sat down next to you, "Not unless you think you need it." You looked at him, "I'll be fine." You sat up and walked out of the room wiping your tears from your face. Then, you walked back to your dad's desk and acted like nothing happened. The rest of the day was long and boring, you were ready to leave. You couldn't quite have a job yet, but you had already finished all of school. When you got home, you went up to your room. Everything just became boring.

You were just so numb...and you couldn't do anything about it. You began to think about the conversation that you had with Hotch earlier that day. You wanted to be with your mom. You thought about the last time how you tried to commit suicide. You saw your mom in the field. You wanted that feeling again. You wanted to go back so that you could stay with her. Life on earth was getting too hard. You couldn't think straight. You were tired of living. You decided to wait until night time to do it.

You watched the clock as it slowly ticked by. You began to write letters to people you loved. Eventually, it became time. You heard all of the lights in the house turn off. You quietly tiptoed downstairs and reached into the medicine cabinet. You looked around and eventually found your antidepressants and schizophrenia medication. You looked at the warning label as you brushed what it said aside. You grabbed a glass of water and went to go sit on the couch. You alternated each pill, taking more and more. Until, you decided that it was enough. You realised that in minutes, you would be at peace.

But then you remembered how it felt. How it felt to not be able to say goodbye to your mom. You didn't want that for your dad. You wanted him to know you loved him and not just through a letter...life was just becoming too hard now. You couldn't take it anymore.

You called out for your dad and your voice broke, "Dad?" who came into the room. He turned on a light and looked at you confused. Then, he saw the empty pill bottles. He quickly rushed over to you and said, "y/n, please don't do this!" He began to try to make your throw up but you stopped him by quietly and weakly saying, "Please don't. I'm too tired. I don't want to do this anymore." He looked at you in shock and tears began to form in his eyes, "y/n?"

You looked at him and began to cry, "I don't wanna live anymore. I'm just so tired." He sat next to you and put you in his arms. He began to rock you back and forth and said, "I know...I know. But it won't be forever, I promise." He then stood up and picked you up and began to walk toward the garage with you in his arms. You looked at him confused and cried, "What are you doing." He pulled you over a trash bin and said, "y/n...I am not losing you like I did with your mom."

He began to make you throw up the pills in the trash can. You began to throw up into the trash can. Then he put you in the car passenger seat and climbed in the driver's seat and began to drive. He handed you a brown paper bag to throw up in and said, "Here. Throw up in here." You looked at him with shock, anger, and sadness. You yelled, "Why won't you just let me die! Don't you get it? I don't want to live anymore!" He looked at you with tears and yelled, not in a mean way but a desperate way, "Do you even hear yourself y/n! You can't just kill yourself because of a temporary problem-"

You interrupted him, "No! It's not temporary! I have been having nightmares for over three years and now I'm going to have a permanent disease! I don't want to suffer through that! Why couldn't you just let me rest in peace?" He said calmly but angrily, "Then why did you call for me in your dying moments-" His voice broke due to his realization that if you didn't call for him, you would have been dead, "You knew I would do this. You could have just died right there and then. It could've been over already."

You looked up at him with sorrow, "Because I wanted you to be able to say goodbye, because I know how it feels to not be able to say goodbye." Everything hit him like a truck, tears flowed down his face. He continued to drive until he got to the hospital. The nerves in your stomach had built up enough, you threw up in the bag. Soon, your dad began rushing you into the ER. He ran over to a nurse and said, "My daughter needs a naloxone injection and IV fluids-" The nurse looked at your dad confused, "I'm sorry sir but you need to sign her in-" Your dad said calmly but furious, "My daughter just overdosed, there is no time to sign her in. Now get your doctors in here to save my daughter."

Everything began to get blurry. You weren't able to see straight. "Wow, I really did take more than last time." You looked at your dad confused and then it happened, your whole body went limp. You felt your dad pick you up, then you heard a bunch of yelling around you. You felt yourself being placed on a gurney and rushed around the hospital.

Then, everything went black.