Spencer Reid's Daughter

Part 27

Spencer Reid's POV:

You looked down and smiled to see your daughter sleeping on your chest, she looks just like her mother. You turned the TV off and grabbed the book Maeve left you, luckily it was right by you so y/n stayed asleep. You flipped through the pages and found the note that she left you. "Dear my love, If you are reading this, I'm sorry. I love you so much and I'm sorry you had to see me leave like this. Please let y/n never lose sight of her warm heart. She is so special and the happiest girl I know. Please keep her like that. I love you Spencer! (Give y/n a hug and kiss every night before bed too!) You felt your eyes swell up with tears, I let her down. I let our daughter stray away from her happy little self. "I'm sorry Maeve." You sat there for at least 15 minutes stroking her hair before you decided it was time to carry her up to bed. You slowly picked her up, careful to not wake her. You walked up to her bedroom and put her to bed. You tucked her in and gave her a light kiss on the head and whispered, "I love you sweetie." You walked downstairs and went to your bedroom. You stared at the picture on your bathroom sink for a while, it was a picture of you and Maeve. You picked it up and kissed it, "I love you, I hope I didn't let you down. You heard a voice in your head saying, "You didn't let me down Spencer, I love you." You began to cry and sit on the bathroom floor. You threw a towel across the room and put your face in your hands to silence your sobs. Then, you remembered you hid some dilaudid a few years ago in your closet. You slowly got up to grab some, you took the bottles down from the box they were in and sat back down on the floor. You put the needle in the bottle and extracted it. You took a look at your arm and put the needle in. Soon enough, all of the trauma flooded your head. You couldn't deal with the fact, you know you did secretly let her down. - The next morning, you woke up on the bathroom floor. You quickly got up to make sure y/n didn't see that you had a mental breakdown last night. She already knew you have depression, anxiety, and PTSD too, but you didn't want to let her see that.

y/n POV:

You woke up the next morning in your bed and walked downstairs. Your dad wasn't downstairs so you assumed it was quite early. He usually gets up around 6:00 AM, you checked the time and it was 6:30. "That's weird, he's usually up by now." Just as you were about to go check on him to see if he had gotten called into work, he walked in the room. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked awful, almost like he was hungover. You backed up confused, "Dad, are you okay?" He nods and says, "Yeah, I just need a cup of water." He grabs a glass of water and just heads back to his room. You just sat there in shock, he was acting so weird. You decided to text Emily, "Hey Emily, my dad is acting really weird. Do you happen to know why?" You almost immediately got a response, "Umm, no? Do you want to spend the day with me? Maybe he just had a rough night last night." You responded, "Yes please!" It wasn't that you were scared of him, the problem was is that this has happened before. He would just act really weird all day and not come out of his room. You always went to Emily's in these types of days, you just never knew why he acted like this. You quietly walked to his room and knocked. He answered, "Come in." You looked down, not meeting his eyes, "Can I go to Emily's?" He quickly answered, "Yeah." and you walked out of the room. In less than 15 minutes, Emily came to pick you up. You got in her car and started breathing heavy. She looked at you confused and put her hand on your shoulder, "Hey y/n, what's wrong?" You looked at her and said, "I don't know, he just- He helps me through everything but I have no idea what is going on with him. It's like he is giving me everything and I am taking everything away from him. He doesn't even want to show me his pain-" She interrupts you and says, "Baby, your dad has been carrying a lot of pain for a while. The both of you have and I don't think he wants you to carry anymore. He doesn't want you to be worried for him because if you worry, he will worry for you. Your dad just deals with his pain alone." You nod and between the sobs you say, "I just wish I knew how to help." She answers as she pulls out of your driveway, "The best way to help is just leaving him alone for a bit, like you are doing now." You just nod and she begins to drive to her apartment. Once you got there, you sat on the couch and asked, "Hey umm, Emily?" She answers, "Yeah?" You begin to fidget with your hands and nervously ask, "So umm, I was wondering if we could talk about-" She just smiled and nodded, "Your dad told me that you wanted to talk through your cutting and how to get over it. Yes sweets, we can do that." You both sat down on the couch and begin to have an in depth conversation. She talked to you about how she stopped and basically said you can't do it alone. She finished off the conversation by saying, "y/n, this is going to be a very difficult process. You were addicted for a very long time, it will be difficult to get better and you will deal with relapses. I promise you can do it, I am always here to help." She gave you a big hug and you whispered, "Thanks Emily." She pulled away after a bit and said, "Do you want to go out for lunch?" You nodded and she asked, "Where?" You responded saying, "We could go to chick-fil-a and invite the girls to have a picnic!" She smiled and said, "That sounds like a great plan! I'll text the girls!" Right then, you got a text from Henry, "Hey love, I heard that your dad is having a bad day, are you good?" You wondered how he knew but you guess he probably confided JJ and she said something to him, "Yeah, I'm good. I am at Emily's right now." He responded, "Okay, tell me if you need anything!" You replied back telling him you would, then Emily said, "The girls are up for it, Penelope will go pick us up something." You nodded and grabbed your purse. You both headed to her car and went to the park. You saw Penelope and JJ with a bag of food and a blanket. Penelope gave you a big hug and said, "Hey baby Reid!" Then JJ gave you a hug and whispered, "Your dad is okay, he is just having a bad day." You didn't want to ask, but you wanted to know why. Was it me? You helped Penelope spread out the blanket and you all began to eat. Emily asked, "So y/n, how are you and Henry?" You blushed and answered, "We are working out really well, we have gone on a few more dates!" She smiled and JJ began, "Well, Valentine's day is coming up soon and you didn't hear it from me but... he is getting you something sweet!" You laughed and said, "Ooohh, I can't wait!" The rest of lunch, they talked about case work and their old highschool boyfriends. You were there for almost an hour until Emily stood up, "Well y/n, are you ready?" You nod and help clean up. You said bye to JJ and Penelope and said, "See you later!" You walked slowly to Emily's car and she asked, "Are you fine with going home?" You frowned and nodded, you really didn't, but you felt like you were a bother. She asked, "Are you sure? You can stay for the-" You quickly answered, "No, I'm good!" You could tell that she was concerned but you just acted normal the whole way back. Once you got to the house she said, "I can walk you up to the door." You just shook your head and said, "I'm good, see you later." She stopped you, "y/n. It's okay." You felt tears in your eyes but you didn't let them fall, "I'm fine." She didn't want to leave you but she knew you needed alone time, she said, "I love you sweet girl!" With that, she drove away and you opened the front door.