Red Velvet 6th Member

Enlighten Me

Vivian's POV

"No, but seriously!" I laughed at my laptop.

"No one ever says that!" A voice responded through the speakers.

"I really think that though! Sometimes the best songs are the ones that you wouldn't expect to hold a place in your heart." I smiled, placing my hand over my heart.

It was 1PM, and I was sitting in my home studio/office, with Aera sleeping in her room. Jongin isn't home, he's at the SM building doing stuff. Like always. So I decided that I might as well spend some time with my best friend, Josh.

"Its just that everyone says Stutter, or Fallout, or literally anything from Ever After." Josh raised an eyebrow.

"Well sorry, I love those songs but Astoria is a better album than Ever After, in my opinion. And While We're Young will always be my favourite." I enthused to my dear friend.

"Really? You seem more like a Shut Up and Kiss Me or Yesterday type of girl." Josh leaned back in his chair.

"I loves those ones to, but While We're Young and Dearly Departed are just so tragic and beautiful at the same time. You're like a modern day Shakespeare."

Josh laughed at my comment. But I meant it. The sound of his laugh immediately makes me laugh along. It's just one of those really contagious laughs.

"Well, it was fun talking, but I gotta go  take the dogs out and Amanda's been bugging that I haven't been doing much with them." He brought our conversation to a close.

"Oh, okay. Well, I'll talk to you later." I felt a little sad, but I knew it was kinda getting late for them.

"Talk to you later Viv, love ya." Josh waved goodbye.

"Adios papa J, love you lots." I smiled and waved goodbye, and disconnected.

It's normal for friends to say love you, its 100% platonic.

I got up from my chair and walked towards the door to head to the living room. As soon as I opened the office door, I bump into a muscular chest. Belonging to my husband.

"Love you? Who do you love?" He looked down at me, no emotion visible on his face.

"Jongin, it's nothing. I--"

"Is it Josh?" He cut me off. There was something in his eyes. Sadness, disappointment and... anger.

"Yes, its Josh. I don't know why it's such a big deal." I shrugged it off and walked pass him, only for him to grab my arm and pull me closer to him.

"It is a big deal." He gritted his teeth.

"Jongin... let go, before you leave a mark." I calmly wiggled out of his grip and walked into the kitchen.

"Why do you love Josh more than me?"

Than sentence made my heart sink to the pit of my stomach. I turned to face my teary eyed husband.

"W-what?" I asked and stared at him in shock. Why would he say that?

"Why do you love Josh more than you love me? What does he have that I don't?" Jongin's sadness turned to irritability.

"Well, Josh at least tells me what's bothering him and let's me know if I'm doing something wrong. He doesn't keep me on the edge of my seat and wait until he decides to act like an asshole" I gasped. I can't believe I just said that. To Jongin.

He was just as shocked.

"What did you call me?" He said, a cloud of anger and pain darkening his face.

"You heard me. And yes, I love him. As a friend. If you're allowed to have female friends, why can't I have male friends?" I crossed my arms and leaned on the counter.

"Its not the same. Enlighten me on how it is. No? It's because you don't understand." Jongin pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Why is it different?" I stood up straight.

"Because it is!" He snapped.

I jumped back and hit my head on the cupboard.

"That's not fucking fair! I let you be free and do what you want, while I stay home with Aera and play house! I finally have a friend of my own who understands me. So what if he's a guy? Or older? I don't. I've admired him for years, and now I finally get to be friends with my idol. Can't you just be happy for me?" My voice cracked at the end, as tears strolled down my cheeks.

"I feel comfortable around him, he makes me feel normal. I never feel normal when I'm with anyone else because it always feels like business. With him, it's a choice to be friends. But with you... I chose to marry you. I promised you that I would love no one but you. I even chose to have a child with you. I'm only 25 and I've done way more than I thought I would, because of you. Aera makes me want to be a better person. You make me feel loved and appreciated, and Josh makes me feel normal. Why can't you see that?"

He stared at me silently.

"I never tell you to not talk to or spend time with Taemin. I only ask that you let me have my own friends. Not everything in my life needs your permission. Please... just don't get mad at me when you're the one gone all the time. I'm lonely. I need some kind of attention, and Josh is always there. Just because I lean on him for support doesn't mean he matters more to me, because he doesn't. I married YOU. YOU are the one I love."
I tried to calm myself down.

"Viv--"

"But for now, I need a break..."

Silence. Yet, the look in his eye spoke volumes.

"What do you mean 'a break'?" Jongin stepped closer to me.

"I can't take this stress anymore. I can't just wait around, silently begging for attention when you only ever get upset over me having friends. This isn't the man I married, or the man who's my daughter's father. I... I want you out. Just for now. It's for the best, trust me."

I turned away and hung my head. I heard him walk away, knowing he can't argue with me once I turn away. My mind is made up. His steps grew closer and then farther again. Until I heard the front door open. I turn slightly and sent him away with one last question.

"Enlighten me, why do you always do this to me?"