Red Velvet 6th Member

I Don't Think I'm The One

Vivian's POV

I was sitting at home in my living room on my phone, checking my emails.

Aera was playing on the floor in front of me, completely entranced by a toy car. Luckily, she's easily entertained so it's pretty easy to deal with her.

My album is being released in 2 days and I'm super excited. I haven't done too much press, as I'm getting as much rest as possible before the cycle begins.

I haven't really spoken to any of my friends in about a week, but they understand that I've been busy. I haven't even spoken to either of my partners. Yongsun understood completely, and Josh has been busy working on his own music.

The only person I've been in contact with that isn't work related is my dad. He's been helping with Aera and giving me advice with both my career and personal life.

I've never met a stronger person in my life. He lost his wife of 28 years last summer, and he cared more about how my brother and I were doing, and put us before anything.

I love him so much. Freddy and I know that we're pretty much all he has left, so I keep in contact with him frequently and Freddy moved back in with him.

After I finished my last email, I laid down on the couch and watched my daughter smile. I love seeing her happy, but she has her father's smile. Luckily she has my eyes, so it's pretty easy.

She turned to me and held up her toy car.

"Ah!" She smiled at me, making me smile back.

"Hey baby." I sat up and slid onto the floor beside her.

She reached for me, as a sign to help her stand up. I stood her up and held onto her tiny arms to support her.

She giggled in satisfaction and wiggled her butt. I picked her up and placed her in my lap, and she immediately clung onto me.

We sat like that for a few minutes until she dozed off to sleep. I slowly stood up and walked to her room to lay her down.

I walked out, leaving to door open so I could hear her when she woke up, and walked back to the living room. I heard a car door close outside and I went to look out the window.

Before I could reach the window, there was a knock on my front door. I headed towards the door, slightly confused.

I wasn't expecting anyone.

I opened the door and my mood immediately went down.

"Why are you here?" I crossed my arms.

"I want to talk." Jongin said, sadness evident in his eyes. " I wanted to apologize for that night in the park. I was drunk and I didn't know what I thinking."

"Stop apologizing and get in here." I moved out of the way to let him in.

He came in, took off his shoes and sat on the couch.

"I was drunk and I was upset. I'm sorry for that night." He said looking at the ground, too ashamed to look me in the eye.

"I'm sorry too. I've been cold and... well frankly I've been a bitch. My mom always told me to find someone who I could trust, and who trusted me. When you accused me of cheating on you, I knew you didn't trust me and I wanted to get out of it. I hated you because I hated myself and how I reacted. I couldn't take back what I said because I meant it. You deserve to be happy, but I don't think I'm the one to do that." I held back tears.

It was true. I still love him, but I don't deserve him. He deserves better. There's plenty of fish in the sea and who would want to be with me when there's tons of better girls out there?

I'm not pitying myself or trying to victimize myself. I'm just being honest. If anything, I'm the villain in this story and I'm well aware of it.

"Vivian... you make me happier than anything else in the world. I would give up everything for you. You mean the world to me. I don't want other girls, I want you. I don't care if you like other people. I've accepted it, and you're happiness comes before mine. So be with Yongsun. Be with Josh, as long as I'm here with you." He grabbed my hand.

"I don't want to put you through that. I don't want to hurt you anymore than I have." I tried to pull away, but he held tight.

"If you think you're getting rid of me that easily, you're sorely mistaken." He smiled. "If you're happy with multiple partners, who am I to judge? I just don't want you to feel trapped with me."

"Trapped? How could you think I feel trapped?" I expressed in shock. "Jongin, I married you of my own free will. I agreed to be your wife, and I agreed to start a family with you. Trapped is the last word I'd use."

"Isn't that why you pursued other relationships?" He asked confused.

"No! Not at all! I was lonely. I didn't go after either of them until after we split. Things aren't even that serious with either of them." I held onto his other hand.

He looked at me in the eye, and I saw the tears forming. It pained me to see it. I hate seeing anyone cry, but seeing Jongin cry hurt more than words could explain.

I pulled him into a hug, and he held me so tight I almost couldn't breathe.

As we sat in silence for a bit, Aera started crying.

We immediately broke apart and stood up. Jongin looked at me, as if asking for permission to see his own daughter.

"Go to her. She's missed you." I smiled and lightly pushed him towards Aera's room.

He smiled and made his way to get her, leaving me alone in the living room.

"We both have."