Red Velvet 6th Member

I'm Proud

Vivian's POV

"Surprise!"

My face lights up, and a smile bursts onto my face. I leap into the persons arms and hold her tightly.

"Yongsun, what are doing here?" I let her go slightly.

"Juhyun called me and told me to come over." She smiled brightly and brushed a pair of my hair behind my ear.

I turned back to Juhyun and mouth 'thank you', she gives me a thumbs up in return.

"I really wanted to check on you, to see how you're doing." She looked slightly up at me.

I kissed her cheek in a moment of pure bliss. I missed her. She's the reason I came out.

*OBVIOUSLY THIS ISN'T REAL AND I'M NOT ASSUMING SOLAR'S SEXUALITY IT'S JUST FOR THE PLOT*

I held onto her hand and led her to the living room. She sat down as I kept walking and picked up Aera.

"So, how's the girl's?" Sooyoung asked.

"Fine. Byul is fine, Hyejin is great, and Wheein is doing well too." Yongsun smiled as she mentioned her members.

"That's great." Sooyoung smiled and replied.

I walked back to the girls and sat with Aera in my lap. I don't know why, but I'm very content in this moment. I'm not missing my husband, I'm not sad that he might be seeing someone else. I'm completely fine. It takes me a minute to grasp my feelings. I stare at the plain white wall ahead of me, painting a picture in my head.

"Yujin? What's on your mind?" Yongsun nudged me.

"Its just..." I stared at the emptiness on the wall. "For the first time since we split... I don't feel sad. I feel relief, as if marriage was burdening me or pushing down on my shoulders."

They all looked at me confused.

"What do you mean?" Yerim turned her head, curious and intrigued.

"I feel like marriage may not be for me. I love him, but I love other people to." I looked down at my daughter, who looked up to me with her big brown eyes.

"There's a word for that." Seulgi piped up.

"For what?" Seungwan question.

"What Vivian's feeling. Tell us more." She leaned in.

"Well... I've been feeling this way for a while. Like, it's always been inside of me but it hadn't awakened yet." I continued.

"When did it?" Juhyun reached her hand out to me. I gladly took it.

"When I first started talking to Josh, and started crushing on him." I closed my eyes, thinking back.

"What else?" Yongsun urged me.

"Well, I feel like even though I love my husband, I still love Josh and Yongsun. But all equally, and the same." I looked into her eyes.

She smiled at me and rubbed my knee.

"I think I was right." Seulgi leaned back in her chair. "Vivian, have you ever thought about polyamory?"

That's when it hit me. I know it may seem sudden, but that's what happens when you bury it so deep inside of you. It's there but you ignore it, try pushing it aside and then... it breaks free.

"I think I might also be polyamorous." I sat in shock that those words came from my mouth.

"Whatever you are, or how you identify, we love you no matter what." Juhyun smiled at me.

"But what about Jongin and Josh?" Yerim asks.

"I don't know. I love them equally, but I feel bad for liking Josh. He's married." I look down again.

"You never know... he may like you to and be in a similar situation as you as well." Yongsun said.

"I just don't want to ruin our friendship." I looked at her.

"There's no rush at all. You're still figuring things out. Take your time." Seungwan sweetly commented.

"Maybe it's time I try something new..." I trailed off. "Who's gonna stop me? I'm bisexual, polyamorous, and a mother. Those don't really work, but I'm proud."

Now I know what really matters. My own happiness and well being.

I'm proud.