I fell in love with the devil |The Walking Dead| NeganxOC |CarolxDaryl

Chapter 21 - Daydreams and Nightmares

Quinn, Kingdom

Carol never mentioned Negan since my breakdown, which was a month ago. I haven't seen Daryl since I promised him, I won't hurt myself again.

I kept thinking about Negan anyway. When we kissed for the first time. Every time I thought about it, I felt warm inside, like my chest and my head were filled with pink mist. I was 100% sure that I was in love with Negan.

I was allowed to take walks again, so I was sitting outside at a table and reading a random book I found when I heard the roar of a motorcycle.

Daryl visited today.

I was sure Carol was going to tell him about my breakdown, I just hoped that she will leave out the part what triggered it.

My heart skipped a beat.

Would it be rude if I asked about Negan? Maybe Daryl was in Alexandria too.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to piss off Carol. I didn't want to piss of Daryl either, but since I was in this situation because of him, his feelings didn't matter that much to me at that point. I know, it sounds bad, but I still didn't know on what terms I was on with Daryl. There was just so much going on. The fact that I had a crush on him, but he didn't, and then he made a scene at Alexandria to "save me" from Negan, and then he literally saved me when he followed me to the Kingdom... And I was mad at him for not getting himself together for Carol. I know he had a lot on his plate too, but if he would have gotten together with Carol, she could have helped him through everything.

My thoughts just went off.

Anyway, I didn't know how to feel about Daryl. Maybe one could think we were friends, but I think his only friend is Carol now. I didn't know, really. One thing I knew for sure was that I had to ask. I needed to know.

Carol already greeted him, I stayed on my butt at the table, pretending to be reading, but I couldn't focus on the story anymore.

They approached me of course.

"Hey," Daryl growled. I looked up at him. He wasn't smiling. The only occasion I saw something like a smile since Rick died was when I promised him, I won't try to kill myself again. He was still mourning him, just like the rest of us, but it seemed he was affected very deeply. And he seemed even stranger than his usual self.

"Hi," I said shortly and continued reading.

Daryl glanced at Carol then both of them sat down in front of me. I looked up from my book again.

"What? You look like the parents who sat down with their child to lecture her," I said. I saw the reaction immediately, Daryl glanced at Carol again, a hint of red on his cheeks. Carol looked away with a red face too.

"Carol told me you had a panic attack," Daryl said, looking back at me.

"Of course, she did," I said.

"She is fine now," said Carol smiling at me, then at Daryl.

I couldn't take this awkward situation anymore and I needed to know. So, I asked.

"Have you been to Alexandria recently?"

Carol's eyes widened.

"Quinn, don't," she said. Daryl shook his head.

"Nah," he said.

I decided I will ask straightforwardly.

"Is Negan still alive?" I asked while I didn't dare to look at them. I was staring at my own hand resting on the table. I glanced at Carol, she did a facepalm. She worked so hard to distract my thoughts from Negan, but I kept thinking about him. I glanced at Daryl too, he seemed to feel uneasy, but still nodded a yes. I nodded too. That's all I need to know. He is alive.