First Time Again

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"Deanna?" I spoke up, moving cautiously into the small courtyard

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"Deanna?" I spoke up, moving cautiously into the small courtyard.

She looked up to me with a somehow solemn expression, but beneath it was nothing but pain and a shattered heart.

"You were right." She forced the words from her tear stained lips.

"I'm sorry I was." I admitted, before slowly making my way to her side. I gulped at the puddle of blood beneath her; the substance soaking into her clothes and stained into the creases of her skin. Her eyes met with mine once again, showing me the glimmer was still there. She was still holding on. "Let me help you."

I held out my hand towards her and after a moment of hesitation, she took it.

"Thank you."

After that night, Hershel, Shane and Merle had promised to keep my secret until I was ready to share it. It wasn't something they felt comfortable keeping hidden, neither did I, but we had more pressing matters to deal with; for the sake of Alexandria and everyone within her. Rick and Morgan, an old friend of Rick's who had turned up on the revolutionary night with Daryl and Aaron, had discovered a quarry full of walkers. A growing herd that would tear us to pieces if it got loose.

We held a meeting at Deanna's house, where one of the original members, Heath, explained him and his group had discovered the quarry many moons ago. At the time, it only consisted of a dozen or so walkers and it appeared to us that the noise had gradually drew in more and more. The pit was now filled with at least a thousand, maybe even more. The only thing keeping them at bay were doubled over lorries at either end of the steep sloops that led into the very pit. With rubble crumbling away beneath the wheels, we knew we had to act fast and get in control of the situation, because as soon as they get free from their captivity, they're heading straight for Alexandria;

Straight for home.

"You know what you gotta do?" I asked rhetorically, grazing my hand against Rick's cheek as we sat on the steps to the porch.

"Yeah- yeah, I know." He looked to me, placing a soft kiss against the palm of my hand. "I gotta lead them."

"And you will."

I hadn't accepted the reality of being pregnant; in fact, I think if I'm being honest, I've been trying to put the revelation to the very depths of my mind. Being a mother isn't something I ever thought I could be, or would even get the chance to be, but then Carl, Judith and Charlie came into my life. All at different stages, but they became my children, despite the fact that I am not and will never be their biological mom. I see them as my own, and nothing will ever change that.

The idea of having a new life growing inside of me scared me in ways that I can't properly explain. Rick and I had only made love once in our time together, way back at the prison. Which would make me almost two months pregnant. Within that time, my body has suffered a great deal of trauma, yet they are still alive. It shouldn't be possible, but it is my reality.

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