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Rick's POV

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Rick's POV

"Good morning," I pushed a smile into my cheeks as I crouched down to Charlie's bed. "How'd you sleep?"

The rims of his eyes were dark from the restless nights he had endured.

*I'm okay.* He signed, pushing himself like we were all forced to do.

Since that day, and everything that happened within it, everything has changed. Alexandria was quieter and the people were less themselves, more defeated and weary. We lost more than we could have ever imagined, some more than most, but it affected us all.

"Come on, let's get your sister ready." I pressed my hand against his tear stained cheek, knowing how hard all of this was for him.

Negan took Bella from us, along with Merle, almost as a way to ensure we came through on the deal forced upon us. A deal that meant we gave up half of everything we have, and no more of us die; we would be spared from the fates Abraham, Tyreese and Hershel faced.

I felt responsible for what happened. Regardless of who he is, I led us all to that point. I pushed for the deal at Hilltop, even when Bella and Shane voiced their disagreement. I made that call. I took them to their deaths as much as Negan inflicted it. Would I go back and change that decision if it meant they would live? Yes, without a doubt. But would I do the same without knowing for certain? No. I agreed to that deal because sooner or later, the Saviors would have found us. They would have killed some of us, and we would be right where we are now, maybe even worse off. This route gave us the upper hand; we were able to know more than we did before, and we still took out a large amount of their group.

It will cost us something.

It did cost us something, too much.

I know how much this world can change you; sometimes it can even chase out who you really are, but nothing could have readied me for this. Bella told me about her family and all she went through growing up, so I knew of her brother, I knew his name and the type of person he was. It's like if any one of us had heard the single name of a leader that happened to be the same as a relative, you could never conclude that they must be your relative, out of the millions still standing. Maybe there was some hope inside of me that things would be different for us over the revelation of Negan being Bella's brother, but at the end of it all, someone like that cannot live. What we are doing here is for the future, for Carl, Judith, Charlie and our unborn child on the way. All of this is being built for our family, and the families to come. Someone like Negan, and his people, they don't get to live.

I know, wherever she is and whatever she is going through, Bella will feel the same. She is the light in this world and that doesn't mean she hasn't done dark things because she has, we all have, but she radiates goodness from her heart. Her will to help others, her fight to do what is right and her strength to overcome whatever is thrown at her. A few of the many reasons I fell in love with her.

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