Love You More

CHAPTERS 9

Saturday 6:00 pm he came in. went straight to his seat which was a sort of mini bed on the floor filled with cushions. It was the farthest seat from the counter an almost island sort of seat, distanced from all other seats.

He sat down with a book in hand and headphones. I still don't know how he was able to focus on both the task, listening and reading, at the same time and what exactly was he listening to. Cause it never seemed like music, his body never shows any action to suggest that he was listening to music.

I sat at my desk for half an hour just looking at him. His back was turned towards me. After 1 hour of mental preparation I walked the long walk to his seat. (This is one of my major problem. I would just get struck at a small problem and then my whole world revolves around it. If it were any other person, they would have just gone up to him, said a sorry and walked back without any drama. And look at me, I was preparing as if I had to give a speech before one million people.)

I had planned to call his name when I reach there but instead, I knelt down behind him to be on his same level and nudged him. One small change in the plan and now I can't remember what I was supposed to say.

He turned around; he took off his headphones as he saw me. He just gave a smile that would have gone unnoticed had I not watched him with all my heart. After that smile he just bend his head and sat like that till I spoke, which was after an eternity.

"I don't know what to say I mean I know what to say but you know..... no.... I know that.... shit." I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and was about to speak when he said

"It's okay. I get it."

"No, its not okay Drake. I am really sorry. Like seriously genuinely fully sorry. But just for those last line. For the rest you should be sorry."

"And I am sorry for that. But you know you shouldn't be sorry at all. You were actually right. It would be a real mess if we were to talk or be friends or be. Anything. Just imagine hanging out with me one minute and the next minute people would say that I am a bloody drunkard who went around ruining peoples life. I couldn't just think about all that at that moment and so just.. You know but seriously, I am not mad at you, I have no right to be. Its just that I thought it would be better to just stay out of each others life, its just that and nothing else."

By this time, I had properly settled down on the floor listening to him like he was telling some story. It felt good to hear him speak. Like sunlight on a chilly morning.

"Drake. I have not finished yet. I know fully well that being with you would be like being a partner in a controversy channel. I know that every moment I would hear some new things about you and that none of them would be any good. But these are just what people think about or what they know about you. But I want to know you from my own experience just I want my own views on what you are which should be neither corrupted by what others say nor by what you show me. And do you mind if I wish to know you more?"

"Of course, not why would I mind. But its.."

"Oh, so you don't mind. So, there is no problem." I smiled from ear to ear.

He smiled his I- am – speechless smile. "Just don't do this. If this is because you feel dreadful about hurting me or something, believe me I am not sad and I am not mad at you. This risk is not worth it. The whole college is a proof. I don't expect anything from you. Just trust me."

"This is the only risk worth taking Drake. And screw what the college thinks."

After yet another round of discussing the pros and cons he said

"So you wont change your plan?"

"Not even in your dreams. So.. Can we be talking friends- walking friends- library friend just any kind of friends." I said, fully confident that I have won the argument.

"Conditions applied." He said sitting back.

"Now what?"

"You are fully warned that you will have to suffer if you make this choice. Second, whenever you feel that I am not the right kind of person to be with you would just walk away and I would not stop you."

"Counter condition." I said holding up my index finger.

"What?"

"We would not walk away from each others life without telling the other person the reason for our action. I hate it when people leave you without even telling what the reason is."

"Okay accepted." He said smiling.

Thats when the counter bell rang, I was needed in the counter. I got up turned to face him before I left

"As part of the first day of agreement you are supposed to walk with me back home."

"And what if I say I would like to walk you back home whenever you are alone unless you want to be alone."

"Hmm agreed." I said smiling. I finally felt good. Its a really great feeling when you forgive someone and when someone forgives you. But you know what the best feeling is? Meeting someone new. Someone you actually feel you can connect with.