Love You More

CHAPTER 37

Veronica seemed a little too happy to see drake. I strongly believe that she has a crush on him.
Drake looked better, but not his best. I did ask him if he was okay and he would always smile and say yes.
But today when he almost fell on me sleeping, and that too in an important meeting, I had to ask him again.
"What's the matter drake? " I was helping him with some files.
"What? " He didn't look up from the screen.
"Are you not feeling good? "
"I am okay zahira. "
"We.... I mean you, you could talk to thomas. "
"For the hundredth time, I am okay. " He looked up from the screen.
"No drake, you don't seem to be okay. Look at yourself. You eyes are all red they are swollen you look horribly tired. "
He got up from his chair and walked past me to the other table "well that. I just get like that for few days after that hospital shit. But it's fine, I will be fine in a week. It's not a big 'Thomas issue'." He came back to his table and winked at me and went back to work.
That was the limit I could push him to.

I have grown used to sleeplessness for the last few days. I would just lay in my bed staring outside thinking about drake. About how things used to be in the past, how happy we used to be. If he was suffering then, wouldn't I have helped him? I would have done everything in my power to make him feel better. I use to love him. But now.... Now I don't even move a little finger. I never knew I hated him this much.

When I couldn't take it anymore I called Thomas and asked him to meet me at Drake's house. I went to lucy and asked her for her car and drove straight to his house. It was 2 am and his house was full of light. He hasn't slept, even today.

I knocked at his door three times before he responed. He was close to the door I could hear him
"If you are a buggler, buddy I don't have anything, I am broke and so is this house. So, if you have anything in that loot bag of yours, that you would like to spare you may drop it at the door. "
"What the hell are you talking drake. " I hope he is not drunk. I can't handle a drunk drake at this hour.
"Speak again. " His voice was muffled, he must be very close to the door.
"Drake? " I spoke again and in a flash the door was open and he was standing right in front of me in his brown boxers, shirtless. When was the last time I saw him like this?
"Zahira. What happened? Are you okay. Is something wrong? Did --
" Drake drake, pause. I am fine. I am good. "
"Doesn't seem so. " He stepped out so that he was standing close to me, it just gives me goosebumps, he just seems so warm in this cold air. "Zahira it's two in the morning. Why are you here? "
"Yes why am I here? " It was a like a sudden blow of consciousness. Why am I here at his house at such an odd hour. Why the hell do I care so much. I didn't know what to do.
"Zahira? " He snapped his fingers to bring me back. "What? Should I drop you back home? "
Now there is no turning back. I am going with this decision. If I change my mind I am going back to that thought spiral and I don't want that.
"No. Drake.... I wanted to say something. "
"Okay. If it's I love you, then yes I love you too. " He says with a straight face.
"Shut the fuck up drake. " He is irritating.
"Sorry. I was just checking if you are alright. You are fine. Now speak. "
"Drake would you come to my house?" I shouldn't have asked it like that, it just feels so soft. He stares at me, his eyes are almost blank.
"Why... No... I mean yes. Fine. But what happened? Like.... I don't really get it. "
I take a deep breath. Something in me is constantly saying that I made the wrong decision. I take a step back. He comes forward, now he really look worried. I might be looking like an idiot standing at his door.
I hear the sound of a car and finally I feel fine. Thomas. And when Thomas got out of his car drake started speaking "now I know. I don't know why I even expected it to be anything else. Obviously.... You know what zahira, I don't want to come to your house. Thanks for asking. " With that he turns around.
"Drake listen to me. Please. " Lack of sleep was making be really irritable. Thomas walked to us with wide grin. How does this man have such energy?
"Zahira, I am not bedridden. I can live on my own. " He wasn't even looking at Thomas, he knows that it's his doing.
"Nobody is saying that you are bedridden. And it's not like I am taking you home and feeding you food it's just.... " I don't know what to say, I have no words.
"It's what zahira?" He comes back to his earlier postion right in front of me.
"Okay listen drake--" Thomas begins but is stoped by drake.
"Shut up Thomas. I told you a thousand times not to do this. " At this Thomas smiles and draws back into the darkness.
"Drake. I don't know how much I care about you but I can guarantee you one thing I am not asking this out of pity. I don't love you any more, I agree. But I know that my hate for you would never be more than my love. "
At this he loses all that anger he looks defeated. But still he speaks "I know that zahira. It's just.... I don't think this would do any good for both of us. "
"Guys. Do you mind if we go into the house. It's cold out here. " For a moment I had forgotten that Thomas was still there. He drags us into the house and then he moved back "continue"
Everyone was silent for a long time before drake started speaking again "I don't have any problem in moving into your house. It would do good for me but it's the worst for you. "
"I care about myself more than you. It's just five months drake. And ones the work from home starts it would be good for our work too. "
His face tells me that he hadn't thought about it.
"Drake."
"But zahira... "
"DRAKE" Thomas shouted from behind us. I almost jumped back at his sound. I had never seen him this angry he walked towards us with some tablet strip in his hand.
"Thomas what happened? " He raised a hand and I went silent. I think I am missing out something. Drake looked away from Thomas. Thomas was glaring at him like an angry wolf.
"WHO THE FUCK ASKED YOU TO HAVE THIS? " Thomas was shaking with anger. He held up the tablets. Drake didn't look at him.
"I AM ASKING YOU DRAKE. WHY IS THIS SLEEPING PILLS HERE? " Drake was still silent.
" Thomas he had told me that he has this sleeping problem when he comes from hospital. " I felt a strong need to defent him
Thomas took a deep breath and said in a soft voice. "Let me handle this zahira. Okay. Why didn't you tell me it's this bad? " He turned his gaze back to drake. "Fine. Sleeping pills is fine. But this isn't. " He held up another strip it was untouched unlike the sleeping pills "this is bloody drugs. " He said through grited teeth.
My mouth fell open. Drugs.
"I haven't touched it. " Drake said with a straight face.
"Wow. That makes this nothing? " Thomas threw the pills on the couch.
"This is final drake. You are either going with her or coming with me. You are not staying alone. You get me?" If I were drake I would pack my bags right away, because who can stand in front of an angry Thomas. But no drake being drake he opens his mouth to argue. Thomas cuts him and shouts "this is not negotiable drake. Pack your bags right now. "