Love You More

CHAPTER 46

"Drake, you must really thank heaven that it was your off day. Bloody fucking day at work. First I got stuck in traffic and then I landed right in front of Veronica and she verbally tore me apart. Then that stupid food catering company backed off so I had to arrange others. Then the coffee machine won't work. Then I couldn't get a cab then.... Drake are you listening? " No answer. "Drake where are you? " I thought he would shout from some part of the house to not say it in that tone and that it's creepy. But no answer. I checked his room, no one there. Great now he is going out without me. He better get me something to eat. I took out my phone and send him a text.
'Where are you? Bring me something too. '
"Zahira." I turned to the door and Lucy was standing at the door with her arms spread out for a hug.
"Lucyyyy!!!! You are back!! I missed you girl. "
"I missed you too. " I pulled away from her, she has got all tanned from her vacation.
"And ya this letter. It was in my letter box. It's for you. " She handed me a letter from an Indian company that I had applied to, rejected of course.
"I had thought of giving it to drake but then all that fire thing happened and I forgot.... "
"What? Wh... What happened? Fire? " I looked around the house. What fire is she talking about.
"Not here. Didn't you see it on your way home. Third house in our lane. That one that's not occupied. "
"Which one? That white colour house? "
"No the yellow one. "
"Oh."
"Shit, my food. Zahira I will just come okay. " She turned to leave. That's when it stuck me. Fuck. Fire. Drake.
"Lucy stop. Where is drake? "
"Isn't he home yet? I had seen him going some where. He said for a walk. I thought... "
"Was is there when the whole fire thing happened? "
"Ya he was. "
Red alert. Where the fuck is he? My stomach is rolling into tight knots. My head hurts.
"Are you okay? "
"Lucy I will see you later. " I closed the door and slumped into the couch. I called drake ten times no answer. I called Thomas ten times no answer. I sent both of them some frantic text. No reply. I tried finding Dr Samuel's number, not reachable. I am on the verge of tears, panic. My breathing seemed heavy. My hands are sweating.
Drake picked up the call and I shouted into the phone "where the fuck are you? "
"Nana's place. " And then nothing, silence. He hung up. I tried calling again no answer. His voice didn't seem right, nothing seemed right.
Drakes car was still parked outside. I gave Lucy Thomas's number and asked her to try and speak to him.
I tried breathing but nothing is working on my anxiety. I have no idea what I am scared off. But I am scared. Really scared.

I could see the shadow of someone sitting on the ground facing the burned house, there is no house just some broken pillars and ash.
"Drake? " He did turn around. I took a deep breath and went closer. I touched his shoulders he flinched at my touch. I sat down in front of him, hollow red eyes pale as ash face, hair a mess, dress all dirty. I just hope this is the last time I am seeing him like this.
"Drake, what are you doing here? Come let's go home. It's dark it's cold. Let's just go home. " He wouldn't move he just kept staring at that house.
"I could have saved her. " His hands were constantly trembling, tears were running down his face non stop but his voice was clear.
"I could have saved her. I knew her more than anyone. I knew..... I knew that she forgets things.... I should have checked the stove.... I shouldn't have gone out.... I could have. " He stopped abruptly looked down at his hands were I was rubbing it to make it warm.
"Drake. Please let's go home. Please. We can fix this. " He looked up from his hands and straight in my eyes.
"Why am I like this zahira? I end up ruining everything.... Everytime. "
"Shh. Just pause. Let's go home. Won't you do that much for me? "
I helped him stand up, I had to support him to stop him from falling. Once we reached the car I helped him sit and put the seatbelt in place. I walked to the back of the car and stood there. My hands were shaking. I can do this. I can do this. I have to do this. It's just drake. My drake. It's fine. We are fine. I wiped a tear from my eyes and started the car.

I had thought of driving straight to the hospital. But drake wouldn't let me, I even thought of driving there and not care what he thinks but he mubbled that he would jump right out if I took the turn to the hospital. That's scary. So here we are back at home, and here I am clueless what to do. Lucy couldn't get to Thomas.
"I am going to sleep. " Drake walked straight to his room while Lucy and I just kept looking at his retreating figure.

At half past eight we were able to get to Thomas. He asked me to check if drake was still sleeping. Yes he was, peacefully. His chest lifted and dropped in Rythm. Thomas said that he would be here soon and that i shouldn't worry.
"Lucy you should go take some rest. " She was constantly trying to hide a yawn.
"But.... "
"I will call you if we need something. I promise. "
She smiled and held my shoulder "forget everything for this moment. Don't hold anything against him, atleast not right now. He needs you and I know you will literally do anything for him, you can pretend that it's not true but I know it. But still you need to take care of yourself too. Find a balance. Goodnight. Call me, okay? " I nod and she walkes out.
I walk into his room and sit on the recliner facing him. I just hope he does get a good sleep tonight.

Shit I slept. Is he okay? Yes he is. Still asleep. I look at my phone screen, with its bright light piercing my eyes in the darkness. Ten O clock, survived two hours.
I get up and walk next to the small table next to the bed to drink some water. I hadn't even taken a full breathe since evening let alone drink water, my throat has gone all dry. Right when I lift the glass to my lips drake wakes up with a jerk and sit up with such speed that I drop the glass sending droplets of water and small bits of glasses across the room.
"Drake, what happened? " I sat down next to him but he wouldn't look at me. He looked straight his face sweating.
"Drake? " I held the side of his face and in a flash he is resting his head on my shoulder "what happened? " I whispered in his ears. His hands are shivering where it's holds my hands
"Mom, josh, zahira?..... It took Everything, everybody.... Nana.... Zahira.... It took her. " I don't Know what he is talking about.
"Nobody took me drake. Look I am right here. It's just a dream. " I took his face in my hands so that he was facing me. He blinked back the tears that would come down his face any moment. He poked the side of my face with his index finger and then hugged me again this time with more urgency.
"Drake, do you need some water? "
"No. Just stay here. "
"Fine. I am here, don't worry. I am always here. " I stroked the back of his head.
He moved back after some time resting his head on his pillow.
"I want to sleep... But.... Just can't. "
"Scoot" He moved to his left to make space for me and I climbed in next to him, he turned to his side so that we were facing each other.
"Sleep." I whispered and he closed his eyes only to open it again shaking his head.
"Uhm.... What do they do with stubborn man child who wouldn't sleep. " He made a face at the man child Statment and my heart just went crazy.
"Zahira, I.... I will always love you. I can't help it and even if I can I don't want to. " He stroked my face and I had no intention of stopping him. When he saw that I wasn't saying anything he spoke again " Now help me sleep. "
"How? "
"Talk to me maybe.... Anything to distract me. "
He is really close, his hands still on my face.
"How about a story? " He gave a short laugh and nodded.
"Oh you know what, I will tell you a story that my dad used to tell me when I was a child, when I wouldn't sleep he would put me on the bed and tell this story and most of the time he would end up sleeping. But.... It's a kids story. "
"The genre of the story is the last thing on my mind. Go ahead. "
"A long time ago in a far away forest there lived two people rosie and dan. They lived in the middle of the woods that was ruled by a very cruel king. "
"King? " He smiled a little.
"Yes king. He was so cruel that the tales of his cruelty was know far and wide. But even in that dark forest dan and rosie were happy living their life happily. And then one day they went deep into the woods to collect woods. All day long they cut and chop woods arranging them into bundles. But then when they were done they saw a problem, the bundle was so heavy that they couldn't lift it up. They try a lot but still they couldn't lift it up. "
"Uhm... They could have just split the bundle and... "
"Drake aquilla, eyes close. " I run my fingers over his eye lids so that he would close them and he did "and no questions in a story. So, continuing. So they try but fail every time and then suddenly they see the king coming their way, and they knew that the kings presence would not bring anything good. The king approches them and askes in his evil tone. " I clear my throat to mimick an evil voice " What happened dan? What happened Rosie? "
"Can I open my eyes? " He opens his eyes immediately "please do that again. "

I can hear the sound of tyres on the front porch. I better get up before they knock and wake drake up. Drake had dozed off an hour ago in between the story. His arms are still around my hips but still he is far away from me so he is extending his arms to reach me. I carefully lift his hands away and walk out of the room closing the door behind me. I run to the main door and when I see Thomas and Lucy standing there I could finally breath. This night is fucked up.