Teach Me to Please | Please Me #1

THIRTY FIVE

❤︎ this chapter contains a warning ..... that's all x
___________________________________

S I E N N A

   "I'm ready." He said the words with complete conviction, so much so I thought I heard him wrong. I pulled my head away from his chest and looked back up at him. I could see it in his eyes, the complete conviction and trust staring back at me. I didn't know what to think of it.

  Why was he suddenly ready now? He wasn't ready the night of the storm so what made him want to now? Did he feel bad for you? Did he think having sex with you would make you feel better?

   "Right now?" I asked slightly taken aback.

   "Yes – shit, this is probably really bad timing, isn't it?" that was an understatement. I didn't know how long I stayed in his arms until I stopped crying and even when I did, I remained there, in his warm comfort. I had never felt so close to him. He made me feel safe and gave me this sense of peace I had never experienced in my life.

   "No, I just.... please don't do this because you pity me." I stepped away and spoke. Did he feel bad for me? Did he want to do this because I said I hated myself? Did he think sex would make this go away? However, something in me told me that this was different. He cupped my face between his large, warm hands and shook his head, his eyes never leaving mine.

   "I'm not."

   "Are you sure because I don't want you to feel you have to and –"

  He cut me off by placing his lips on mine in a gentle kiss. It wasn't rushed or desperate. It was slow, telling me he wanted this. He wanted me.

  He pulled away and rested his forehead against mine. "I want this."

  My words had run out, all I could think to say was, "I just don't want you to feel like you have to make me feel better by fixing me with sex." Sex made people forget. I wasn't a stranger to that concept, that was why I slept with people whenever Adam and I broke up or had an argument. It made me forget all the horrible things said and done, but it never made anything better. It only made things worse.

   "You're not broken, Sienna. There isn't anything to fix. But even if one day you shatter to pieces, I'm not going to be there with a bottle of beer and an offering of sex, I'll be there in whatever way you want. I'll be there to listen, to understand, to give you whatever you need. Trust me on that, okay?"

  I swallowed my tears threatening to make a reappearance at his kind words and nodded.

   "So, if you don't want to do this right now, you don't have to, I can wait. I'm just letting you know that I'll be ready whenever you are."

  In that moment I realised that there was never going to be another Roman in my life. Whether in the future we part ways or remained our friendship, every piece of him would follow me. I couldn't help the thrumming of my pulse pounding against the blanket of my skin as I stared up at his eyes and saw the sky-blue storm that rain with silver flecks, telling me to trust him, to take that jump, to feel so much more closer to him. To all of him. And I wanted to take that jump. I wanted to fucking dive.

  There were minimal minutes between us before I reached up and kissed him. Immediately, he kissed me back, pulling me closer to him making me get on my tiptoes and wrap arms around his neck. Every pulse in my body was pounding against my skin as he lifted me up and carried me over to my bed.

  As soon as he placed me down, he crawled on top of me, his lips never leaving mine. I wrapped my legs around his waist and held my breath as his lips travelled down to my neck and circled that sweet spot with his tongue. I moaned, wrapping my legs around him tighter, pulling him closer to feel the swell in his jeans rub deliciously against my core.