Teach Me to Please | Please Me #1

FIFTY FOUR

I tried to fall asleep that night but in no way would my body let me. I kept thinking about it. That image swirled in my head like a venom coursing through my veins, smirking at me, taunting me, stabbing me in the heart with its wicked laugh and sharp teeth. It stung.

I knew Roman was hurt. I knew that video shattered him to pieces. However, he slept with me. We had sex and then the next morning he was gone. Granted, he was probably at the meeting about Skye, but he could have told me that. He also left me his clothes and I didn't know whether it was a compassionate gesture or a gesture out of curtesy. Yet, he still left. Then I find him with his tongue down Nikki's throat. Nikki!

It only led me to wonder what would have happened if I didn't walk in when I did. He was going to have sex with her. I could imagine in. His hands tangled in her box-died auburn hair as he pounded into her from behind.

I wanted to be sick. Or cry. Or both.

Every time I dared to close my eyes, it was there. She even looked right at me with a teasing, cruel stare to let me know that he was now in her orbit. Not mine.

Several times did I have to swallow down the stinging bile that crawled up my throat. Pain. That's what I felt. Pain. And it was a pain only I alone allowed to fall into the cracks of our 'what could have been'.

I tried to forget about it for the whole of the next day, but it still lingered there. Every second my mind wasn't occupied it came to the front and tormented me in a sick reminder of my heartbreak and guilt.

Now it was Saturday, and I roamed the school halls to the English classroom. It felt weird being at school on a weekend, it was like a foreign country, but I kept my mind focused on the task at hand and approached the English classroom.

Cautiously, I knocked on the door and Mr Wright turned to me. It was weird seeing teachers in their 'weekend clothes' but luckily Mr Wright wasn't one of those wacky fashionistas and stuck to a pair of jeans and a sweater.

"Ah, Sienna." He greeted. "Sorry for making you come here on a Saturday, but I got an email from the UNC admissions team, and they want this interview like now."

"It's okay." I assured and walked into the room, plopping my bag on one of the desks. I was shitscared nervous because I had no idea what the questions were. I wasn't allowed to know. The whole point was to get my raw reaction to show 'who I truly am'.

Mr Wright finished setting up a camera on a tripod standing a meter or so away from the front of the room and I noticed a stall behind where I was standing.

"Nervous?" he smiled kindly.

I gave him a sheepish smile, "A little."

He chuckled softly and waved his hand, "You should be fine, don't worry. All that I need you to do is sit on that stall behind you and look into the camera when you give your answers. There are about five questions so it shouldn't take any longer than twenty minutes."

"Okay." I nodded and let out a deep breath. I climbed onto the stall and held my hands in my lap, subconsciously fiddling with my fingers out of sheer anxiety.

Mr Wright took a seat behind the camera and turned it on, giving me a thumbs up as he did so. I waited nervously for the first question.

"Name?" he asked. Well, that's easy.

"Sienna Callum." I answered effortless, thank God, because who knows what would have happened if I forgot my own name.

"School?"

"Northside High of Wisconsin." I now waited for the other questions.

"Going up for an English programme means a lot of reading I'm sure you're aware, have you always been into reading and if so, how did you get into it?"