Sinners Are Winners [bxb]

Chapter Sixteen

CHAPTER SIXTEEN- All Actors Go to Hell

"I still don't get why we're going to an acting class," Grant grumbled. He was sitting in one of the front seats of another of those death machines of road. According to Xavion and Grant, this 'car' was Xavions. As such, he was the one operating it in the commander's seat.

Xavion sighed. "We don't have to be going. Ish and I do."

"Well, I feel left out. Plus, weird shit happens whenever I let you two do shit on your own."

Xavion scoffed, "Name one thing." Grant opened his mouth, but Xavion cut him off. "Other than the time I tricked him into a deal with me. Or when I made him get his ear pierced. Or when I hired a hooker to flirt with him. Or when I nearly shot him. Or when I made him start calling me daddy."

Grant stared at Xavion with a deadpan expression. "You're right, I can't think of anything."

"See?"

Grant rolled his eyes. "You still haven't explained why we're going to an acting class."

I grinned, knowing the answer. "Xavion says we're going there to boost my pride!"

Xavion nodded along with me. He shrugged to Grant. "I'm taking him to the most prideful environment I can think of."

"Really? Acting? But isn't that the opposite of pride?" Grant asked.

I tilted my head. "How?"

"Yeah." Xavion scoffed. "How?" His 'how' sounded less curious and more sarcastic.

Grant rolled his eyes. "You're getting rid of yourself to portray someone else. It's actually quite humble."

"You're also saying that you, a random actor, are worthy of representing said character. Timothy, the high school sophomore, is prideful enough to think that they can pretend to be..." he trailed off, thinking, "uhh, Albert Einstein or something."

"So..." my eyes widened, "acting is both humble and hubris?"

"It's also lying." Xavion shrugged.

Grant scoffed. "Come on! It's representing, it's art-- it's not lying."

"Look, Grant. Say what you want. But, according to divinity, all actors go to Hell. Actors are the most egotistical fucks, trust me. In Hell, we take extensive acting practices." Xavion shrugged. "It's been that way since the dawn of time. I'm, like, besties with Shakespeare."

"I knew Shakespeare's guardian angel!" I gasped. "She really tried to steer him away from the sinful life of prostitution--"

"Huh?" Grant turned to look at me with creased eyebrows.

Xavion gave Grant a side-eye before returning his attention to the road. "Shakespeare was a pimp, didn't you know that?" He chuckled. "It's why we get along so well. That guy knows how to party."

"What?" Grant's face was twisted with confusion. "Romeo and Juliet Shakespeare?"

"What other fucking Shakespeare would I be referring to? Goddamn, Grant, that's the stupidest question I've ever heard."

Grant held out a hand. "Hold on... you know Shakespeare? He's in Hell and... parties with you? Am I hearing this right?"

"Yeah." Xavion shrugged. "Hell's not half bad, ya know. We throw constant bangers."

"Does Shakespeare still write plays?" I asked, tilting my head in thought.

Xavion nodded. "Sometimes. They're a lot different from what he published on Earth, though. You can tell the constant torture and ravers have gotten to him."