Sinners Are Winners [bxb]

Chapter Twenty-Seven

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN- More Deals

"I can't wipe memories." Xavion shrugged. "I'm a demon, not an evil wizard."

Grant bit his lip, looking at the ceiling as though it held the answers. "What if we try to knock him on the head or something?"

"I'm literally listening to all of this." The kid grunted. He turned to me. "Some help you are, angel-turned-demon." He scoffed. "I swear. This is why I wanna convert to Satanism. At least the demon does what you'd expect him to-- with the kidnapping and all. There's no such thing as a 'risen demon', they just do exactly what they're supposed to. Angels? They're all over the place morally."

"That's 'cause sinning is 100% better." Xavion pointed out. "No one decides to follow along with God's bs." He narrowed his eyes suspiciously at the kid. "Why are you in that stuffy church if you don't wanna worship God and Jesus and the Holy fucks?"

The kid gave Xavion a dull stare. "Dude. I'm 11. I have no free will, I just do whatever my mom drags me to. Why do you think I spent all of the service hiding in the bathroom? Father John's voice literally lulls me to sleep-- this kidnapping is the highlight of my day."

Grant propped himself up. "Yeah, you didn't look all that happy to do the play stuff either during the acting class."

"No duh." He scoffed. "I hate my mom, she's always dragging me back and forth from plays, to church, to school." He groaned, wiggling his bound hands. "Say, can one of you loosen these ropes? They hurt."

I nodded and leaned forward, but Xavion grabbed my wrist and jerked me away. "Don't listen to him, he's just trying to escape."

The kid narrowed his eyes at Xavion. "Hey. Let me trick the dumb nerd in peace."

I frowned, offended. "I'm a smart not-nerd, thank you very much."

The kid raked me with a look of judgment and disbelief. "You tell yourself that."

Xavion's arms crossed. "So, let's back up a bit. You sayin' you don't like church?"

"I hate it. I also hate acting. My mom says it 'builds character.' Which is both a horrible pun and a horrible idea. I don't wanna act. I want to start a rock and roll band called 'AA'."

"Alcoholics Anonymous?" Grant asked, propping himself

The kid glared. "No. Ass Armpit." He thought for a moment. "Or Abandoned by Angels. We're still figuring out our branding. We just know we want alliteration."

"You could do double-d's so you can make boob jokes." Xavion pointed out.

The kid scoffed. "Yeah, maybe. If we were immature babies that made boob jokes. We're trying to be taken seriously."

"You do realize that you just pitched the idea 'Ass Armpit', right? And you're, like, 14. That's the pinnacle of boob jokes." Xavion retorted.

"For the last time, I'm 11. And A's alliterate better than D's."

Xavion guffawed. "What?! Deranged Demons. Dorito Dicks. The Down Deep. Dusty Doors. Diddle and Drive. Drunk Driving. Double D's. Don't Deliver. Dirty Deli. Must I continue?"

"No. Please don't continue." The kid rolled his eyes. "My ears will start bleeding."

"Dental Dare. Daring Dental. Double Dental. Dental Dicks. Deep Down and the Dentals."

The kid cut Xavion off with a shout. "You can do the same thing with A's! Ass Armpit. Angel's Ass. Angel's Armpit. Angel's Appendage."

"You're just naming off angel and body parts!" Xavion protested.