Sinners Are Winners [bxb]

Chapter Three

CHAPTER THREE- An Entire Identity Change

"Grant!" A voice screeched, most-likely waking the entire neighborhood. I sprung up from my sleep, slightly disoriented. As I swung my head to look towards the commotion, my tired eyes met a pissed-looking Renee.

Feeling the lumpy couch beneath me and seeing her seething face were both brutal reminders of my current predicament.

Renee gave me a quick apologetic look before storming over to the right side of the room and down the small hall. She began opening doors, knocking on them harshly. I found myself pointing in the other direction, towards Grant's room. "His room is on that side," I clarified.

She barrolled down to the other side, thanking me as she passed. Soon, I heard her violently knocking, "Whoever is in here better be someone really important to take the bed over a literal angel!"

Grant's rough voice answered, "It's Queen Elizabeth, actually. And I'm wondering how the fuck you got into Grant's aparentment."

"Well, your majesty," Renee jeered sarcastically, "It's not that hard when you choose to hide your emergency key in the most obvious place."

"I wasn't expecting psycho stalkers to break in." He grunted before the door flung open.

Renee gasped, "Put on some clothes!" She shrieked.

"You're the one who broke into my house." Grant responded, I heard his voice grow nearer as they started to walk towards the room I was in. "You are officially the worst date I've ever been on."

Renee scoffed, "We found an angel. How is that the worst?" She paused before continuing, "And, anyway, why did you make him take the couch? That's so rude!"

They appeared. My eyes widened on Grant's half-nakedness. The only thing he was wearing were the shortest and tightest pants I have ever seen. I gaped at him, "How do you sin so blatantly?!"

"Stop judging me, Jesus." He grunted, "I can't do anything without you two badgering me. Grant, take the angel home with you. Grant, put on clothes. Grant, sleep on the couch. Grant, I'm breaking into your house at," he glanced at a clock on the wall, "7 am? Fuck no, I'm going back to sleep." he spun around and started to walk back to his room.

Renee stopped him, placing a hand on his chest. I scowled at the oddly sensual contact, definitely distrubed at the ease behind it. She gave him an urgent expression, "We have so much to do, though!" She pointed out, "Ishmael needs to learn the ropes somehow."

Grant frowned and glazed back at the clock, "At 7am?"

"The earlier the better." She exclaimed.

Grant gave me a dead stare, "Son, please explain to your mother that she's absolutely batshit."

I blinked, not really knowing how to respond. I glanced between the two of them, "I'll be honest, here. You're both... uh... "batshit"." I repeated the phrase, wincing as it felt dirty passing through my mouth. Curse words were strictly forbidden in Heaven, it felt weird that they threw it around so casually. But, it also felt oddly freeing to say. I didn't have to live in fear of God's wrath, I had already faced it.

Renee looked horrified while Grant grinned at me, "Grant!" Renee exclaimed, hitting his shoulder, "Did you teach him swear words? So far, you're failing at this father thing."

"I didn't teach him!" Grant laughed, "But I'm proud." He clapped for me.

I grinned at the praise, "Shit." I looked up, half-expecting a burst of lightning to strike me. After a moment where nothing happened, I laughed in exhilaration, "Fuck!"