sextape, jean kirstein

47, 𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐘 𝐁𝐄𝐃.

SEXTAPE, PART III,
CHAPTER 47.

" 𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐘 𝐁𝐄𝐃. "

( filler / unedited )

basically jean's POV.

Jean didn't like the emptiness of the spot next to him everytime he woke up or went to sleep.. as a matter of fact, he hated it with the entirety of his heart and soul.

Not a single 'I love you' had been shared in a period of time, and you had both equally distanced yourself from one another. 

It was bad.

There wasn't.. a lot of distancing. It was more of 'we haven't talked in a while.' It wasn't fun whatsoever. You hadn't even been together a whole year and things had begun to crack.

You would always brush right past each other, and not a word was said. It made both of you ache. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. 

There was no such thing as happily ever after, that was a fact.. only a dream in a childish mind.

There were only small conversations during dinner and once in  while when you weren't fighting, and little 'cya later, babe''s when you left the house to run errands. It was annoying him.. and the both of you.

Somehow none of you dared to speak up.

Why did it have to come to this?

Nobody knew.. maybe it was fate.. or maybe in the end everything goes to hell.

Nights were lonely, and so now, your boyfriend lay in your regularly shared bed with his eyes glued to his phone in the dark of the room. On his side. 

Jean would look at the empty space, and sigh. The pressure falling down onto his shoulders that things had become so bad that you didn't sleep in the same bed as him, really.

The silence filling his ears practically pushed him down with dread. He needed noise, and your breathing wasn't a sound he could hear.. but he longed for. Just to listen to you chat away to him as you were half asleep, hooked onto him with your arms wrapped around his waist.

He exhales, turning over so he could look at the time plastered across the screen of the alarm clock. 

11.11

Make a wish, right..? 

Why was time going to slow, couldn't it go any faster? When you were around time seemed to fly by so fast. 

With a quick movement, he pulls open the drawer of the bedside table, and searches around for his earphones. They were of course tangled, which just made the man even more upset. This was all his fault, wasn't it.

It had taken Jean a good five minuted to un-tangle the damned things, and he could finally relax to music of his choice. 

He liked this song, and he knew you liked it too.

She gives me everything,
And tenderly.
The kiss my lover brings.
She brings to me.
And I love her.

Jean shuts his eyes, relaxing. This was one of those moments when you're reminded of that one person you love most by song. And as you can tell, he was having his moment. You were only a few rooms away, and quite close if he thought of it.

Tears were soon to spill. Jean had done too much crying in the last few days, and desperately wished to bash his head through the wall whenever he cried thinking about you. 

And he recognized that feeling of pure dread in his chest.

Bright are the stars that shine,
Dark is the sky.
I know this love of mine
Will never die,
And I love her.

One of the worst things was that the whole world and internet probably knew about the situations in you and Jean's relationship, which wasn't a whole surprise in all honesty. 

By each lyric, he could clearly remember times of good and bad.. some of them being with you, and others of when he was on his own. 

He could feel himself slowly starting to fall asleep, his back relaxed and so did his entire body.

It was weird, how he felt. He must've drank too much, he felt all floaty and high above everyone else. 

That leftover booze mustn't have been the way to go, Jean. He scolds himself, rubbing his eyes as he listened to the music. Everything around him seemed to move even slower than the time, such as the way he moved, or how long it took him to blink.

Was he going crazy? He couldn't have been.. He had to admit, sometimes you did drive him crazy in both ways, but thats why he loved you. 

Jean turns over onto his stomach, holding onto the pillow in front of him as the music filled his ears. 

He could hardly hear the fan as it spun above him, as he reminded himself of how much he had hurt you for the seemingly 100th time.

He was so head-over-heels for you it hurt.

A love like ours
Will never die,
As long as I
Hold you near me.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2YIVBgQSEc7hMtkeSF38vh?si=9558508e3c9247af

lmfao playlist link of songs that jean likes
for the use of sextape.