EPILOGUE

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To my Scarlett,

I hope this letter finds you when you're finally ready to forgive me. I know that even if I apologize to you it won't fix the damage I've caused you since you were a kid. But I want to express my deepest apologies for not being as affectionate as I should have been throughout your life. I am sorry for the times when I seemed distant and failed to show you the love you deserved from your father.

I'm so proud of you, my princess. I always failed to express it or even say it, but I want you to know that I am truly proud of you and for all your achievements in life. It makes me really honored to have you as my daughter. You have no idea how thankful I am for having you, you never failed to amaze me, Scarlett. I remember when you were a kid, you were exactly a 3 year-old baby at that time. At a very young age, instead of being in love with toys like other kids in your age, you fall in love with books. You really love scientific books, I must say. When you were at that age you immediately made me proud of you, at 3 you already know how to read, write properly and even talk properly. I said to myself that you are really my daughter because you are different from others.

When you grow up, I saw how much you did your best to make us even more proud of you. I saw your dedication and determination to make us proud, but there's no other thing in this world that makes me feel so bliss when you tell us that you want to become a doctor like us. I'm so proud of you the moment you succeeded in your first surgery operation. That moment I could really not ask for more. I failed as your father, I'm aware of that. I took your freedom and will to live.

I know my mistake, but I hope you understand my reason why I become so protective when it comes to you. I hope you understand why I always wanted the best for you. You were born with a twin brother, Scarlett. But he died. Everything happened so fast, your mommy's pregnancy became sensitive in its last trimester. I did everything I could do to make her healthier. I took a leave from the hospital so I can take care of her even more. But the moment she gave birth to you and your twin became so critical. Your mom's life as well as you and your twin's life fell on 50/50. The doctor approached me and they made me choose. It's between my wife's life or my daughter's and son's life inside my wife's womb. I can't choose. I can't lose your mom, it will make me insane. But I can't lose both of you too. The moment my world stops, they have to decide inside the operating room. They save your mom and lucky enough they had a chance to save you but they failed to save your brother.

I was so ashamed after that. There was this voice inside my head that keeps telling me that I don't deserve you in my life. I was so mad at myself na wala man lang akong nagawa para sa mommy mo at para sa inyo ng kakambal mo. I am a doctor. I saved so many people's lives, I cured their illness but I didn't do anything when all your lives were critical inside the operating room. I feel like I am a failure. And as the time passed by I didn't realize that I became more of a failure when I failed to become your father as well as for Kayle. I was blinded by my emotion, I let the pain take over me.

I was so afraid that I might lose you too like how I lost your twin and again, I didn't realize that my overprotectiveness hurt you so badly. I didn't mean to, Scarlett. I want to become a good father. But I failed myself too. I have all the power and wealth that all the people crave to have, people praise me too. But I failed to take care of the real treasure in my life. I'm so sorry, my Scarlett. I'm so sorry for being a failure father to you. I'm sorry if I hurt you and I want you to know that I understand your anger for me and I know that I completely deserve it.

I regret all the things I have done. I'm sorry if you have to suffer in life. I'm sorry if you have to do all the things you don't really want to just make me proud. I'm sorry if I never listen to what you really want in life. The moment you ran away on your wedding day, reality slapped me that I was really too much. The moment I watched you running broke me deepest down. It made me mad at myself even more. I was really mad because it took a lot of years before I realized, before I woke up from my deep slumber that I was too much. I got blinded, and a good father wouldn't do what I have done.

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