KaiShin Oneshot

Broken ⚠️

[Trigger Warning: Mention of Raped and Self Harm. Please do not read if there is a possibility that it might trigger you.]

Shinichi felt trapped. No matter how many times he runs away, he always find himself in that dark alley. He wanted to be anywhere else but that place, far away from it where that person is. But...

"There's no escape great detective ~ Now, stop struggling and accept your fate!"

With every struggle and every time he called out his Lover's name, nobody came.

Shinichi felt like throwing up. He doesn't feel safe in his own body. Every touch that man made and every time he was violated at that dark place, he wanted to die every second of that moment. Shinichi didn't want to accept the disgusting pleasure he was feeling. He didn't want the aphrodisiac he was forced to drink to take over his body but he still failed. Is this what it feels like being forcedly pinned down to the ground, powerless with nobody to help while being raped?..

Numb.

Helpless.

Disgust.

He didn't know how many times and how long it has been since it started but all he remembers is getting up after passing out. Trembling for the first time in his life, terrified to the point of wanting to end his life, however what did he do at that day? Dressed up and pretended nothing happened.

The hunting experience ended but the trauma and the feeling never left him even after a week passed by.

***

Shinichi suddenly woke up in the middle of the night, panting and sweating from the nightmare of that moment. No matter how many times he tries to forget and moved on from the event that took place at that dark alley, he still feels.. scared. Disgusted with himself. The number of times he tries to scrub his entire body didn't helped removed the feeling of that man's touch, even if he bruised his skin off he just wanted it to disappear. Shinichi wanted to disappear.

But he can't.

Looking to his side, he smiled upon seeing the sleeping magician by his side, mouth slightly parted with drool running down his chin. That's right. Shinichi needs to be strong, for Kaito, for his beloved lover however...

Trying to hold back the feeling of wanting to scratch his skin off, he embraced the magician, burying his face onto his chest while taking in his scent. What will Kaito think if he found out what happened to him?.. Will he also... feel disgusted?

The thought of that happening made Shinichi's heart ache, tearing up at the possibility of his Lover leaving him. He didn't want to be alone, he didn't want to be left on his own, fighting off the hunting experience he had... but what he needed the most is-

"Tasukete... Onegai, Kaito."

(Help me... Please, Kaito.)

"I'm breaking apart..."

***

"Shinichi, are you alright? You've been in there for almost two hours now."

Kaito asked after knocking onto the bathroom door.

It's already the second week from that traumatic experience but Shinichi isn't getting any better. He was worried that at some point, Kaito will start to notice the marks. He tried his best hiding them and shrugging it off like it was no big deal however... he was already at his breaking point.