KaiShin Oneshot

I'm Sorry⚠️

[WARNING: Mention of Depression and PTSD(Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)]

"...i."

"...ichi..!"

"...n..chi..!"

"SHINICHI!!"

Waking up into a cold sweat, Shinichi gasped for air jolting to sit up while gripping tightly onto his chest. Shinichi's lover, who's beside him, patted his back giving him a worried look. It's already been the nth night he has been woken up like this. Ever since that incident, he could no longer sleep properly. The heat, the smell of something burning, the pain all over his body, its still fresh in his memories how he tried to saved Kaitou Kid.. 

His lover couldn't do anything about it but comfort him in his arms, the quiet sobs in the room, Shinichi blaming himself for what happened, if only he could take the pain away but he can't.. He knows how much the phantom thief means a lot to the detective. And now that he's gone, Shinichi was never the same anymore. 

***

"Are you sure you'll be alright? I can accompany you-"

"I'm fine, I can handle it and Hattori will be there with me so rest assured."

 Around 10 o'clock in the evening, a fire broke out in beika 2nd district. This was already the third case of arsonist in the area but during the first two case there were no casualties however, the recent one killed a woman around in her mid-30 according to the report. Mouri Kogorou already refused Shinichi giving them a hand but the detective was stubborn. They are aware of Shinichi's past when fire is involved but he was determined to catch the arson behind the 3 cases , he couldn't just sit around comfortably when there's a criminal on the loss... especially when it involves fire, how it ended Kaitou Kid's life. 

Grabbing his coat, he kisses his lover's cheeks a goodbye then head off. What Shinichi doesn't know is that every time he turns his back on him, a longing and guilty look was sent to his seemingly lonely back. 

"I'm sorry, Shinichi.."

***

"Ya sure ya can handle this? I can help them instead while ya watch outside." Heiji said while shooting his friend a look when he makes his way to the burned down house. Heiji knows how much it had hurt and hunted his friend when it was announced that Kaitou Kid had died in the museum where a heist was being held. He saw how desperate Shinichi was when he poured a bucket of water on him and dashed inside, he wanted to saved Kid so much that Heiji ended up getting hurt himself when he tried to stop his friend. It was already too late when they arrived at the scene, Kid was already buried in the debris and the fire around was too intense to come any closer. The sight truly horrified the detective that he ended up being in a trance, Heiji was forced to carried him back outside before the whole building collapse, leaving the Phantom thief inside. 

"Do you really think I'll stand by and watch when there's a case in front of my eyes?" Shinichi protest while he instinctively holds his right shoulder, where a burn scar was left from that incident. He ignored his friend as he takes the first step inside but he couldn't take another step when he suddenly heard the roof and walls making a creaking sound terrifying him. He stood still, his body trembling, eyes unfocused, chest hammering but before his condition had gone worse he was pulled in a familiar embraced. 

"I told you you're still not ready, Shinichi." His soothing voice slowly calmed him down as he leans onto his beloved's chest. He was right, he's still not ready to face any case that is related to fire. As much as he wants to conquer the fear, he'll just be a hinder in the case if he continues to pushed it further.