Arrange Marriage or Love Marriage by prishaagarwal95
Reviewer : Reeya_Reader_Writer
TITLE AND COVER :
Talking about the cover first, I felt it is okay-ish. It can be worked upon and improvements can be made. I suggest you take help of a graphic designer. Now moving on to the title part, it's too long. You can shorten it. You might use titles such as "Arranged Love". This evokes curiosity since 'arranged' and 'love' are quite oxymoronic terms.
BLURB :
The blurb, I felt, is too long. The starting dialogues can be deleted. Try to keep your blurb short and catchy. You can rewrite it as,
"Karuna Singhania, an ambitious girl belonging to a typical, orthodox Indian family has successfully achieved her dreams. Things take a turn when she meets Raj Tandel, the guy her parents choose for her to get married."
It's a short, simple yet catchy blurb that draws the reader's attention towards your work.
LANGUAGE and WRITING STYLE :
Now this is something that caught my eye. Firstly, you can combine sentences. Right from the beginning I observed that you had overused full stops. Though full stops, commas and other punctuation marks are an elemental part of any writing, their over usage can hamper the reading process. As an example, see the second paragraph of the first chapter. You can make it all in a single sentence. You might rewrite it as,
"Due to a colleague's absence from school today, I had to take all her classes including mine which obviously meant double workload and a hectic and tiring day."
Try to combine sentences and paragraphs into one. There is an unnecessary division of paragraphs and many times readers get bored. So try to work upon this part.
Secondly, I really appreciate your use of writing in the first person. However in doing so, you have intermingled tenses. The story ought to be written in simple past tense. You have mixed present and past tenses. Proofread your work and you will recognise it gradually.
Lastly, the language and the vocabulary is quite simple. Try to look up for synonyms of certain words and phrases on Google and use them. This will enhance your work.
I would also like you to take into account the fact that a sentence always begins with a capital letter. And in many chapters, this was not the case. As I said, proofread your work and edit those parts.
PLOT :
The plot is good. Simple yet beautiful. So I cannot really comment upon this because I found it good.
OVERALL VIEW :
Overall speaking, you have done a good job. Try to work upon the above mentioned points to enrich your work.
All the best. Keep writing and feel free to contact me for any kind of help. :)
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