ʀᴇᴠɪᴇᴡ ꜱʜᴏᴘ

review | fourteen

French Kiss by LisaGraham_xoxo

Reviewer : DaniBrull
 
Title :
I think the title is great, and I love how it ties into the cover.

Cover :
I love how the words “French” have the colors of the French flag. I think that really shows effort and thoughtfulness while making your cover. Also, the colors really pop with that black background.

Blurb :
I like how the blurb is short, concise, and told in the first person. I actually like this idea, putting it in first person. I think it does well with giving us a picture of your story--the pizza guy that may not be the pizza guy--but in fact, her boss. I think that’s an interesting and slightly comical premise. I’m interested to dive into these pages to see if it’s a bit comical like it reads.

Characters & Plot :
I think your protagonist is very interesting, and she definitely has the voice of somebody getting over a breakup. Also, she is full of wit and gusto. She’s funny, and I love the differences between her voice and Mr. Cohen’s.

I think I would have liked to see a bit more characterization in Mr. Cohen. I get that he is rigid, he takes his work seriously and is very successful and that he has a sick mother he visits. I would have liked to see a quirky thing about him, or maybe a hobby, or something to distinguish him from the typical brooding CEO type.

I held my breath when it was time for the new assistant to come in, because I knew she was having a hangover. In chapter three, it looks like I’m right! And thank goodness he didn’t fire her. But she’s walking a thin rope here.

Grammar & Punctuation :
I really think that the first opening line is a banger (as in, it’s great). It’s witty and quirky. I think to make it a tighter opening to your story, we can get rid of the ‘the’ in the first sentence. That would change it to: “More wine?” I ask myself as I pour another glass of cheap wine. Just a suggestion. The second line can be changed to: “Tell me. What reason would a woman have to get wasted on a Friday night alone?” I think that works better. I notice some of your sentences off the bat can do with a little bit of rework, which I am sure you are probably aware of if you are not in the editing phase yet. There are a few grammar and punctuation blips and typos I’m sure you’ll catch when you edit.

Overall View :
Yes, I was right about the dialogue being quirky! Ah! I love it! This means your tone for your blurb and the story are matching here and give us the right expectations. Also, it’s hilarious that she thinks the guy on the other end of the phone stole her pizza. And I think they are both wrong. Jalapeno and Pineapple is the best combo. Although I am sure plenty disagree.

Chapter two seems a bit cleaner than chapter one, but I think that’s okay because that’s just the juxtaposition between the two character’s voices. I think your descriptions were very clean about his business and office in chapter two. You are great at that!

I like the fact that they have no idea who each other is on the phone when they are texting (sexting) each other. We ended on a steamy note, which I think is awesome, and I think you are taking this romance story in a good direction thus far.