ʀᴇᴠɪᴇᴡ ꜱʜᴏᴘ

review | sixteen

Between The Stars by Rainbow_Indigo02

Reviewer : DaniBrull

Title :
I think BETWEEN THE STARS is a lovely title. I’m a sucker for three-word titles. I can’t wait to see how your title plays into your story. 

Blurb :
BOOM, there we go! Awesome blurb, awesome stakes. Ugh, what a premise. I could only imagine trying to survive in the world, and the only protection from radiation would be this dome. I mean, it’s not far-fetched. Chernobyl sort of has something like this to contain the radiation. Imagine that, but reversed. That’s the feel of this story. 

I did see some spots that would work well with a little smoothing out. Let’s see if I can rework some lines for you. Let’s try your first line that is: 

310 years after Climate Change ravaged the world, The Current, a highly radioactive electrical field scientists made to put an end to it is created.

And try rearranging it to: 

A city is left in ruins. Three hundred and ten years after Climate Change ravaged the world, field scientists try to put an end to it, creating The current--a highly radioactive electrical field. 

(Or something of that nature)

Cover :
Beautiful cover! I love the night sky. And I bet with civilization on the brink of ruin, the night sky would look as beautiful as that because of no light pollution. 

Grammar & Punctuation/Spelling :
Your grammar is quite clean. I couldn’t find anything that stuck out--only just a few spots where you went in with a new paragraph and there wasn’t a space to separate two paragraphs, in all five chapters. 

Characterization :
I like how your main protagonist is wanting to right the wrongs of the world that has been given to them, especially with their siblings--like jumping into the water even though they were terrified, and venturing out into the deadly world outside of their little spear. And at the end of chapter five, she calls herself a “coward” for leaving the girl who was going to die from hypothermia because she didn’t take the potion. I think this is important because no character or person is perfect, and there is probably a deeper reason or meaning to this that I am sure you will go into later in the story. 

Plot :
The plot and premise was a-mazing. It really pulled me in and begged me to read about this world and our main character. It felt like my heart was getting ripped out of my chest for their sister, and the fact that nobody makes it back alive. Is being labeled a hero even worth it? I don’t think so. It is also so sad that their sister’s (including themselves) are desolate. No food. I can definitely see the driving force that would push our protagonist into where they would have to make a big decision that will start the momentum in the story.

Flow/Readability :
Really good flow and readability. This reads more literary, which I think is great--that’s a cut above the rest. You are doing well so far! I enjoyed the read, and I am sure others will, too.