ʀᴇᴠɪᴇᴡ ꜱʜᴏᴘ

review | eighteen

The Undivulged Son by Egwuji

Reviewer : AruVellal

Genre : Action

Title : 10/10

Enticing. I think it's perfect, considering what your story is about.

Cover : 10/10

The cover is beautiful (and hot lol) so no need to change it!

Blurb : 9/10

I'm going to do an edited version of your blurb, and you can see if that's cool with you.

--When a compassionate devil comes to earth to stop his brother from spreading an evil virus, he is willing to do anything to make sure mankind is safe. Seen as a disgrace to his family, he fuels his campaign with this and continues fighting (paragraphing sentences together).

Soon, he finds out his brother's plans were worse than he expected. Will he be able to defeat the darkness when he's already a part of it? But most of all, will The Undivulged Son be able to save mankind (paragraphing sentences together and capitalization)?

(Book one of The Undivulged series) (titles are capital)

50,000 to 60,000 words.

All Rights Reserved--

The rest is fine, though I think there could be a bit more description and more information. What you have right now is an interesting summary, but it's still missing some pieces.

Plot : 10/10

I think it's really ingenuitive. There aren't plot holes or anything. And then the plot twists! They were really fun and added a lot to the book.

Flow : 9/10

Amazing. It doesn't go too fast, and doesn't have excessive scenes. I'm going to say this a lot, but your book was actually really interesting. 

Grammar : 8/10

Eh, not too much fault here. I would like to say that the physical appearance of a story plays a lot in engagement. This means your paragraphs, are they too short or too long? And the grammar area.

Also, take a look at repetitive words. For example, Egwuji went to the store and bought an apple, and then paid for the apple in the store, and then put the apple in a bag and then walked out of the store. This is too repetitive. It just seems off and unprofessional.

There are places where authors use repetitive language on purpose. This could be like: Egwuji went to the store and bought an apple. An apple. Or something like that which really emphasizes that Egwuji buying an apple is important.

But overall, with editing, everything will be okay for your book.

Character Development : 9/10

If I were to choose one area which this book successfully excels in, it would be the descriptions! They're simply beautiful! It helps me picture the characters and the emotions, the setting, etc.

As for the development, it's something I can't really spot. Maybe it is there, but I do not see any characters changing. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, I see some, but it isn't very gradual or realistic. It's more abrupt and I don't see those character realizations coming. I hope that makes sense.

Creativity and Originality : 9/10

Yes. It's not cliche, the descriptions added a lot to the whole of everything. There was this magical part too, where I could really connect to the characters. It felt special. Good job on this.

Hook : 10/10

Yes, this is that one thing that a lot of writers struggle with. From what I have seen, at least. Alternatively, from the start, The Undivulged Son has grabbed my attention and I applaud you for that.

Personal enjoyment : 10/10

When I do reviews, I usually read a little, write a bit, read, then write. But instead, I got too caught up in reading that I didn't realize I'm supposed to be doing a review! Long story short, I really enjoyed this.

Total (final score) : 94/100

Wrap up:

I really enjoyed this story. More than I thought I would. It seems like it could go into the category of having a lot of potential, but not really being there yet. In other words, with editing, it would be a perfect and fun read.