ʀᴇᴠɪᴇᴡ ꜱʜᴏᴘ

review | twenty five

Godly by Egwuji

Reviewer : kaywa52

Title : 5/5

Okay, I think the title is very representative of the story here, and I love how you included the "God-like powers" part in your blurb since it explains your title choice. It's simple too, which is also great! 

Cover : 5/5

The cover is also amazing! It shows the main two characters ready to release their wrath upon a family that did them both wrong. Awesome!

Blurb : 4/5

The blurb is great! You've shown the reader what to expect and you've introduced your characters nicely. It also isn't long or too short, but just right. However, I do have a few tips here, and you're welcome to use them.

I think using colons (:) would provide a neater look for your blurb. In case you don't already know, colons are used to list things or even just introduce someone or something that was mentioned in the sentence. I'll use an example on a line in your blurb.

You have: "They both want the same thing, the death of the Fire family."

This could be: (see my usage of a colon there?) "They both want the same thing: the death of the Fire family."

Another is, "He has two options. Either he forgets love and accomplishes his mission, or he falls in love and risks never avenging his father again."

A better way of putting this would be: "He has two options: either he forgets love and accomplishes his mission, or he falls in love and risks never avenging his father again."

Some of the commas you used in your blurb just look out of place, like those ones I replaced with a colon in the examples above—it didn't feel like the right punctuation. Like, you don't have to put a comma in front of every name:

"Fate brings him to meet, Luciana Perez."

"Fate brings him to meet Luciana Perez."

To fix the commas issue, a grammatical checker could easily pick it up. (Even something as simple as Google Docs, as it just picked up on that misplaced comma up there too.)

Also, I feel like mentioning Lucifer here is a giveaway. You can use foreshadowing to give way to this, of course, by just mentioning that Eren has made a deal that keeps him from romantic feelings. It's your choice though. If you do decide to keep it as it is, try giving a brief sentence or two one Lucifer since he clearly plays a vital role in your story.

Besides the grammar, your blurb is amazing and alluring!

Grammar : 9/15

Already in the first chapter, I've spotted a lot of mistakes involving capitalization and punctuation. "Moonville" is a town—this makes it a proper noun in need of a capital letter. I see you've done this later in the story, but there was one instance of it in the beginning. Same goes for "Light Enterprises," as it is a cooperation. The "e" in enterprises should always be capitalized. "Beast Slayer," should be capitalized too.

More on capitalization, it needs to match. Sometimes the word "hybrid" is lowercase—sometimes it's uppercase. You need to choose between them. Will it be Hybrid or hybrid? It's your choice since you are the maker of this world. The same goes for the type of hybrid: should it be Fire or fire? (I think it should be the former since it also represents the werewolves' last names, and that should always be uppercase.)

So, to summarize that, which one do you like most: Fire Hybrid, fire hybrid, fire Hybrid, or Fire hybrid?

You also have some plural issues. In chapter two, you say that, "Every lightning Hybrid had one (eyes)." This sentence implies that every lightning Hybrid had ONE eye. The correct way is: "Every lightning Hybrid had them."