ʀᴇᴠɪᴇᴡ ꜱʜᴏᴘ

review | twenty six

Abyss is Where I Found You by jeonjungmelle

Reviewer : kaywa52

Title : 4/5

I like the title, especially the usage of "abyss," a word I don't see much in titles. My only suggestion is that you put "KOOKJIN IN SANTORINI" after the actual title. You want people to see that first (especially considering it took me a bit to find your book because of it).

Cover : 3/5

The cover is just a jumble of pictures that should be blended just a tinsy bit better. From afar, the background looks good, but up close? If you're not good at graphic designing (or if you didn't even make the cover yourself) I suggest going to a graphic shop to get one done. Or, if you don't care about the appearance of you cover, you could disregard my suggestion.

Furthermore, I think you should change the color of the font you've used. I really like the style, but it's just hard to read since it's light words on a bright background. Other than that, your cover looks very pleasing to the eye!

Blurb : 2/5

As for the blurb, I think it's too long, especially for a oneshot. I'm guessing that the part at the very end is a snippet of the oneshot, which I don't think is necessary. Already we know that this is going to be a short story, so you shouldn't give away such a large sample in your blurb. Furthermore, the part that you have at the beginning should be moved to the end since people want to know about your book first before seeing the rankings and things like that.

Point blank, your blurb is very disorganized. I could barely gather anything from it other than the fact that Jungkook would be taking Jin-hyung on a date. I can't really go over everything since there's a lot, but I can tell you what makes a good, alluring blurb and let you do the revamping yourself.

First thing, know that your blurb is basically the first thing someone will see. This is what determines whether they will become your reader. You need to be able to explain what happens without giving anything important away—instead, you should be telling them just enough so that they know what to expect. And you have to make it interesting so that they would be convinced to read.

I always like to say that you should think of a blurb as explaining to someone who knows absolutely nothing about your book. Think of it like explain it to a family member (I know, terrifying, but it's just a hypothetical situation.) That is a great starting point to fiiguring out what you want in your blurb.

Also, you should think about what you would want to see in a blurb. What would make you go through the lengths of reading a book that crossed your path? What would it have to say to get your attention? To make you engaged?

Ok, wait, I just read the summary you've given me in your request form and it's the perfect example of what I'm talking about. You'll probably need to change the wording a little, but that's a perfect blurb for your oneshot. It's short and precise and it tells you just enough to know what happens in the story. It's also easy to comprehend and the way you ended it with alluring questions is perfect!

Grammar and Vocabulary : 11/15

Really, from what I can tell you just have problems with wording and tenses. I go more on wording later, but for the tenses...

Well, your story is strictly in past tense, from what I could tell. This means that when you want to recall a memory, it needs to be past perfect. That's with phrases like had been or had asked. Basically, the word "had" should be in front of most of the verbs. Be sure to do this in that one flashback when Jungkook was writing a song for Jin.