Please Believe Me

Chapter 3 - Maxon

I run my hands down Ashley's ass and squeeze. She continues her licking up the side of my neck and I groan, feeling close.

"You are so hot, Maxon." She whispers in my ear then lightly bites down on it."The sexiest man I've ever seen."

I continue silently thrusting into her and soon she's screaming out her release. I come soon after her and the moment she collapses onto my side—breathless—I get up, disposing of the condom.

She giggles as she sees my still semi-erect dick.

"Come back to bed." She gets on her hands and knees and proceeds to crawl over to the edge of the bed where I'm getting dressed.

She drops a kiss over my jeans right over my groin and I step away. "I need to head home, Ash."

She sticks her bottom lip out. "Why? It's not like you have a girlfriend or wife waiting for you."

I bare my teeth. "Trust me if I did I wouldn't be here with you."

Ashley has been my lover for almost a year now but I fear she's growing too attached. And to be honest, I'm also growing a bit bored of this lifestyle. This can't happen for much longer. She's beautiful but I just don't see us being a couple. There is no connection between us other than sex which is kind of sad.

She crosses her arms causing her perky breasts to appear even bigger. "I'm trying not to get offended, Maxon."

I shrug, needing to get home soon. "I'm not the cheating type, Ash. If I wanted to be your boyfriend the first thing I would've done is take you on a date."

Her brown eyes sadden and a part of me feels bad but I really think this needs to end soon. "Ashley..."

She waves me off. "I get it. Call me when you want to hook up next time."

I stare at her for a while, grab my keys and phone and leave.

***
I make it back to my penthouse and immediately get in the shower. Since my best friend, Luke, is staying with me this off-season, I don't want him to know where I've been. I value my privacy as much as I can. But I walk in and no one's there. Thankfully.

In the shower, I can't help but think how this void in my heart won't fill. I run a hand over my chest. Ever since my girlfriend—or ex-girlfriend—and I broke up I've been feeling such emptiness and darkness in me. For the past two years, this is all I've felt. I don't know what to do.

Being with Ashley fills it for a moment and football helps numb these feelings but at the end of the day, I still feel as if something is missing. Will I ever love again?

The thought aches. I want to love. I want someone I can be myself with and she will accept me for me. Will I ever get so lucky to find her? Or will they just use me for my money and fame? I hate that bitter thought but it's already happened to me.

I exit the shower and wrap a towel around myself. I walk into my room and look for a new pair of jeans and a long sleeve.

I find both and as I dress I stare out at what is New York. Amongst all this color and chaos, I feel nothing stirring awake in me. Almost as if I'm the living dead. I cringe and sit on my bed.

Many may see me as that football player. Only as a figure and not a man. I'm human. I love football but the spotlight and events bore me. What is it that I need in my life? Why can't I fully accept the life I've fought for and have accomplished? What is it that I am missing?

God, if Luke heard any of these thoughts he would probably laugh right in my face and shove a beer at me. Or a tequila shot knowing him.

A door closes and opens and I know Luke is back from wherever he's been.