The Bucket List (A REVERSE HAREM ROMANCE)

33. ALBANY

I barely slept a wink.

Kieran's words wouldn't leave my mind all night. It was so confusing. But then again, some parts made sense. Kieran seemed a bit distance at times. Was he only pretending to be into me? But why would he do that?

My alarm went off half an hour after I finished my shower. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I pulled on my shoes and then leaned over to grab my phone from the bedside table to turn it off.

I checked the group but found no more messages after Kieran's. So they all went to bed after that, but did any of them actually sleep? Shaking my head, I dragged my bags over to the door and then made myself a cup of coffee and carried it over to the window.

My eyes were glued to the sky where the sun was going to rise but the sound of a bike approaching had my eyes snapping down. I watched as a man on a big bike parked at the curb. He got off the bike with such grace that it made jealousy flash through me. The air got locked in my throat when he turned and looked up, right at me.

It was too dark to make out exactly who it was, but a part of me already knew. We stared at each other silently for a few minutes and then he stalked towards the entrance. A sudden wave of nervousness hit me as I walked toward my door.

I opened the door and he was suddenly there, breathing heavily and waiting. Without a word, I stood aside for him to enter and then pushed the door closed behind him.

For a moment we simply stared at each other. I was still a bit shocked over the realization that Kieran was gay, and still so fucking confused.

"Would you like some coffee?" I asked after a few swallows.

"No."

I hesitated. "You didn't come to cancel the trip, did you?"

"I'm sure they'd like that."

"I wouldn't," I instantly argued. "It wouldn't be the same without you."

He smirked. "Wouldn't it?"

I shook my head. Kieran took a step closer, making me tense. I had no idea what to say to him. It felt different somehow or maybe it was just me.

"I don't have anything against gay people," I blurted out.

Kieran paused for a few seconds before he continued his advance towards me. A gasp fell from my lips when my back hit the door—I was completely unaware that I'd been moving backwards. He was in front of me in a blink of an eye, caging me in with his hands on either side of my head.

"You don't have anything against gay people," he muttered. "Why's that?"

Before I could answer, his lips were pressed to mine.

I had no idea that you could be kissed in so many ways. I'd never met a man who dominated my mouth in the way Kieran was doing. He took total control. His possession of my mouth made my legs gave way beneath me.

Kieran stepped forward and pressed his body against mine, successfully holding me up.

As quickly as the kiss started, it ended. I sucked in a breath followed by another but even then I couldn't exactly catch my breath.

"I'm not gay," Kieran breathed against my lips. "To put it in simple terms; I swing both ways."

"O-oh," I whispered stupidly.

"Oh," he repeated.

"I—"

Kieran pressed his lips to my jaw and slowly moved it towards my ear. He sucked my earlobe into his mouth and bit down softly, making my body jerk. His tongue soothed the pain before he pulled away.

"I love pussy and the roughness of being fucked in the ass."

A shudder raced down my spine. My hands shot out to grab hold of his waist. I was going to melt into a puddle at any second. It was all too much to handle so early in the morning.

Kieran took a small step back, making my eyes snap open. He was watching me silently with strange emotions flashing through his eyes. I swallowed when he cupped my cheek and tilted my head back.

"You can't be," I blurted, making him frown.

"Can't be what?"

"G-gay and s-straight at the same time."

His lips twitched. Raising an eyebrow, Kieran slowly trailed his fingers across my jaw and then down to my neck where he fingered my collarbone.

"No?" I shook my head. "Why not, my little spitfire?"

I licked my lips and gave my head a slight shake. The words were forgotten the moment his fingers slipped underneath the hem of my shirt. A nail gently scraped down the valley of my breast before moving up to run along the curve of my breast.

Any lower and he'd be touching my nipple.

"I—I. . ."

"You?"

His head lowered and his lips brushed along my jaw, towards my year and then dipped down to my neck. My head dropped back and my body arched against his but he moved back. I forced my eyes open and frowned at him when he straightened.

"Where are you g-going?" I breathed, taking a step towards him.

Instead of answering me, Kieran turned and walked over to the couch where he dropped onto it with a groan. I was frozen to the spot as my eyes darted over his slumped form. With his head resting in his hands and his shoulders slumped, he looked different.

"Kieran?"

"Go ahead." He raised his head. "Hit me with the insults. Tell me how sick it is, how sinful. How fucking wrong it is to be—" his words died down with a harsh breath.

Sick? Sinful? Was that what people said to him when he told them about his sexuality? Swallowing, I took hesitant steps towards him and dropped to my knees between his spread legs. I wrapped an arm around his calve and rested my cheek against the inside of his knee.

"Thomas hasn't. . . he always makes it clear what he thinks about me. He makes sure that I understand how sick it makes him when I talk about a man I met." His eyes darted up to mine. "I was going to tell you but I didn't because of his reaction and I thought that you'd think the same of me."

Tears filled my eyes. "Kieran—"

"I'm a thirty-two-year-old man, Al. I've had time to accept the fact that not all people are open-minded. I'm too fucking old to worry about what they think of me, but I do. I can't help it."

"D-did Crystal know?"

He shrugged.

"Does everyone else know?" I asked after a few minutes.

Kieran swallowed. "They know. I was going to tell you but he. . ."

I sucked in a breath and slowly blew it out. Reaching up, I pressed my hands to his shoulder and pushed him back. Kieran blinked at me, but said nothing as I crawled up onto his lap. Looking at his lips, I licked mine and then leaned forward to close the space between us.

His body was hard and so still beneath mine. Kieran's hand slipped to the back of my head after a few minutes but he didn't take control of the kiss. My hands slipped to the side of his neck as I got more comfortable on his lap.

Breaking away, I sucked in a deep breath before I pressed a kiss to his jaw.

"You can be my number twenty-six."

"And what is your number twenty-six?" he asked.

I swallowed and leaned back so I could look him in the eye. I still couldn't get my head around the fact that he liked men and women and I was probably going to regret it later on, but I wanted to get rid of the sadness in his eyes. So I said something I kind of wish I hadn't.

"Be a voyeur," I breathed. "I want to watch you fuck a man."