Embrace Your Assets | ✓

Kabanata 34

6, 8, 12 - Brian McKnight

Kabanata 34

I graduated with no one by my side. Tita Ellise volunteered but I didn't want the media to twist the story. Ayoko na madamay sina Etienne sa gulo na kinasangkutan ko. It was evident that they wanted to prolong the issue, tapos na pero binabalik-balikan nila para butasan pang muli.

Naninibugho pa rin ako sa mga kaklase ko na may kompanya na agad na papasukan. May mga naghihintay na negosyong aasikasuhin. May naiisip na hinaharap matapos ang kolehiyo.

Truly, I envy those who can dream. Those who can see themselves achieving great things. Those who have things planned ahead of them.

It is indeed silly how I can't see my future. I can't visualized it. Hanggang ngayon ay nanatili akong walang pangarap para sa akin. Maybe because I focused on making others flourished while I was withering; we tend to think putting others before ourselves is the right thing to do because being selfless is commendable and is a virtue. Yet, it's not always the case.

You cannot neglect yourself just because you want to be called as selfless. Hindi mo pwede ubusin ang sarili mo para sa iba dahil sa huli, sa sarili mo na lang mahahanap ang suportang matagal mo nang hinahangad.

I closed my eyes and wistfully think it through.

I was too dependent on others that instead of building my own castle, I helped them build their empire. At sa huli? Hindi pala ako kasama sa tahanan nila. That in the end, I was homeless and alone.

Mila Angeles uploaded: On Forgiveness and Moving On

Pinigilan kong i-bato ang cellphone ko sa bintana nina Etienne. Kumukulo ang ulo ko dahil sa nabasa ko. Hindi pa nakatulong na sila ni Mama ang thumbnail nito. Agad kong pinahid ang luhang lumabas sa aking mata.

Hindi na ako nanood ng vlogs n'ya. I unsubscribed from her channel and for my peace of mind, I deleted every social media account that I have in my phone.

For a year, I took a time off from everything. Naghanap ako ng mga pwedeng gawin para hindi isipin si Gio at ang pamilya ko. I just wanted some space and time for myself.

"Paulene, si Arrisea. . ." Etienne said, pointing towards a familiar woman. Agad naman na umawang ang labi ko. She's beautiful and she looked good when she's beside Etienne.

Girlfriend n'ya ba ito? Paano na si Lavy?

"Hi! Nice to meet you." tipid na ngumiti si Arrisea sa akin at bumaling muli kay Etienne. They have a relationship that I don't understand. Hindi ko alam kung kaibigan lang ba ang turing nila sa isa't isa o ano.

I worked for Etienne during the year that I wanted to function and do productive stuff. He hired me as his secretary because he knows that I'm still not comfortable working with other people. Humupa man ang issue, hindi na matatanggal ang lamat nito sa pagkatao ko.

"You can sue those comments, don't you know?" ani Etienne nang makita akong nagbabasa ng mga comments. Honestly, unti-unti ko na lang itong tinatawanan.

Iba pala kapag manhid ka na. No one can hurt you anymore or irrelevant comments from irrelevant people don't bother you anymore. Ganito pala pakiramdam ng mga artista. Masakit sa una pero nakakamanhid din makatanggap ng mga hindi mo hinihinging opinyon.

"Cybercrime exists, Paulene."

"For what? Ang dami nila, oh. Hindi naman lahat 'yan kasya sa iisang selda. Some of them don't even know me or they're not even a fan of Mila's. They just joined a hate wagon just because they can," sagot ko sa kan'ya.