A Court of Song and Shadow

Chapter 28

I spend the next few weeks in the House of Wind taking lessons. I do my best to obey the women and perfect their lessons so that my father may come retrieve me if I become the 'perfect lady'. I actually receive praise from all four of the women now, instead of just Sigrun. I receive letters from my mother every day but today is the first day she has come to visit me.

"Hello, darling." My mother knocks on my door as she opens it. I jump out of my spot from bed and run to hug her, she throws her arms around me and I cannot help the tears that flow from my eyes as she hugs me. "I am sorry it took me so long to come to you, your father has been adamant about how you must focus on your lessons. How are they coming along?"

"Besides the extremely boring teachers? They are going just fine, I think I have perfected all of the topics." I say proudly as I pull away.

"That is my girl." She kisses my forehead and then grabs my face as she observes me, "Are you okay?"

"Yes." I lie, and she just shakes her head, but she does not push the subject and leads me out on my balcony. We take a seat at the chairs and table as tea appears on the table.

"How are the twins?" I ask, taking a sip of the tea.

"Oh, you know how they are. They will make great spies when they are older." She smiles as she looks out to the city.

"They make great spies now." I point out with a short laugh, "Did you ever finish that starfall dress?"

"I did not, I must make it perfect so it will take a good amount of time." She responds. "I saw the thread and fabric in your rooms, were you making clothing?"

"I made some dresses, but I did not like how they turned out so I threw them out." I admit to her and she lets out a gasp.

"Velaris! How many times must I tell you that every piece of clothing one makes is unique and should never be thrown out?"

"More than ten, apparently." I smile to her but my smile quickly fades.

"Velaris," My mother puts her cup down as she observes me, she must have noticed that I was making small talk, "I know you are not okay, I am your mother."

"It was not even that bad," I take another sip of my tea hoping she can not sense I am lying but my hands begin shaking, "I am perfectly fine."

"No you are not, and that is okay. It is perfectly fine to not be okay." She tells me, and I cannot help the tears as they stream down my face. "Oh, darling, come here." My mother pulls me into another hug which makes me cry even more.

"I failed them." I finally say, "I failed everybody--and those women's wings--the healers-- I am sorry I could not save them. I am sorry, Mama."

My mother shushes me in a motherly way like she would when I cried as a child and holds me tighter. She pulls away so she can look at my face, she pushes my hair behind my ears, "Now you listen to me, Velaris, none of that was your fault. You did all that you could and I am so very proud of you."

I close my eyes at my mothers words as the memories begin to flood through me again, she squeezes my shoulders, "Do you hear me, darling? I am proud of you and I am so sorry I could not protect you from experiencing that." She wipes the tears falling from my eyes, "You are such a brave and strong girl, and I need you to be brave for just a little longer."

"Why?"

"Your father has made an arrangement for you to be wed," She looks at me with such fierceness in her eyes that my tears subside, "That is why I am here, your father has sent me to retrieve you. We must make a visit to the Spring Court."