A Court of Song and Shadow

Chapter 44

I open my eyes and stare at the top of a tent lit by candlelight for a long moment before turning my head. I find Rhysand, Mor, and Azriel sitting at a small table whispering about something. They turn to me when they realize I am awake, my brother quickly stands from his chair as I struggle to sit up.

"Velaris--" He cuts himself off as he tries to find the words to say, but he does not need to say them, "They did not--"

"Take me there." I whisper as I feel my throat close up and tears form in my eyes.

"Velaris--" Rhysand begins to shake his head.

"Take me there or I will walk there by my damn self." I say to him. He looks back to Az and Mor and then holds his hand out to me. I do not hesitate to take it and we quickly travel through darkness and wind. I take a deep breath as Rhysand winnows us back into the valley where the battle took place. I let out a shaky gasp as I take in all the bodies.

The thousands of Hybern's soldiers that were wiped out just from the few hundred Valkyrie.

And the few hundred Valkyrie that were wiped out from the thousands of Hybern's soldiers.

I slowly begin walking through the battlefield, and freeze when I see a familiar figure kneeling on the ground--holding one of the Valkyrie in his arms.

I fall to the ground as I take in Tanwyn's lifeless body in Cassian's arms.

"No," I whisper to myself as I begin to shake my head. I crawl over to Tanwyn and try to push her, "Wake up."

I know she is not going to wake up.

"You promised me," I sob, "You promised me we would do this together." I press my forehead against hers as I continue to cry. Cassian places her in my arms as he backs away, tears streaming down his face. "I am sorry," I whisper to her, "I am sorry I failed you."

I sit there for hours, just holding her body and silently crying. My family stands there with me the whole time and they do not leave or rush me. I finally wipe the tears from my eyes as I look to them.

"If you look in one of the bigger packs on the battlefield, there should be different tools that includes shovels," I explain to Rhys, "They need a proper burial."

"Velaris, there are hundreds of them--"

"And I will dig a proper grave for every single one of them." I stare him down, letting him know that this is not something I would change my mind on. He nods as he begins looking for a shovel, I lightly place Tanwyn's body back on the ground as I stand up to take the shovel from Rhysand's hand.

And I begin to dig.

I dig graves all throughout the night--not once stopping. The others join me silently and we manage to finish burying the Valkyrie by morning. I place their shields over their graves--knowing they would want their shields with them, even in death. I have to control my breathing as Rhysand and Cassian lower Kàra and Razira's bodies into the ground. Cassian and I stand back as they begin placing Tanwyn's body in her grave by the stream. I begin shaking and Cassian takes my hand in his and squeezes.

"I never got to tell her how much I loved her." He whispers.

"She knew." I squeeze his hand back, and he looks to me, "She never got to tell you either, but she loved you just as much as you loved her."

His brows furrow and he closes his eyes as I watch him fight back the tears that were no doubt threatening to spill over. He blinks quickly and returns to watch the burial of Tanwyn. They begin to place her shield on top of her grave when Cassian stops them, he grabs the shield and walks back over to me.

"She would not want her shield to be left here to rot, she is probably cursing at you from the afterworld for even thinking of leaving it here." Cassian smiles at the shield as he hands it over to me, I hesitate as I take it but I know Cass is right--Tanwyn would want nothing more than for me to use a shield, especially hers. Mor walks over with a collection of rocks that she begins to place at the top of Tanwyn's grave, she takes out a small knife to carve words into the biggest stone.

"What is her family's name?" Mor asks me softly.

"Sidra," I whisper, "Her last name was Sidra."

Mor silently carves her name into the stone and places it on the ground. Azriel quietly comes up beside me and takes my other hand in his. I do not take my hands away from his as we all stand there for a long moment, I watch the water in the stream flow by as the time does. I look back to the valley one last time.

The Valley of Death.

"Let's go make Hybern pay."