A Court of Song and Shadow

Chapter 37

The following weeks, I do not leave Mor's bed side as she heals. My mother brings us food throughout the day and I only leave the room to use the bathroom. I wish to be out fighting with Rhysand and Cassian but I refuse to leave Mor--and I know she will be pissed at me if I go to war without her. I look up from my book to see if she is awake yet, but she is still sleeping in my mothers bed, her wounds have almost completely healed--she just needs to gain her strength back now. It will take her a long while until she heals emotionally from what she went through, and I would be there every step of the way for her even if I was completely pissed at her.

Although Mor was my family--so was Tanwyn. We may notbe my blood related, but Tanwyn is family to me just as Mor and Rhysand are--and Mor had betrayed her. I had tried to talk with Tanwyn multiple times throughout the past few weeks, but everytime I winnowed into the Valkyrie camps to speak with her--she would ignore me. I do not blame her--I know I remind her of everything bad that has happened in her life and that is why I am giving her space. I did winnow in yesterday to say goodbye to her as the Valkyrie began marching to meet the Illyrians for battle and all she did was nod her head in farewell.

"Good morning," Mor chirps as she sits up in bed, "Why do you look so grumpy?"

"Shall we unpack your trauma?" I smirk at her and that wipes the smile right off her face. She rolls her eyes at me as she pushes the cover off of her.

"I am fine." She points out.

"You were not the only one effected by your actions, Morrigan." I say while still reading my book. She pauses and I see her out of the corner of my eye turn to look at me.

"I thought we were past this."

"That is not my fault you thought that." I say as I turn the page of my book.

"You cannot be mad at me forever, Velaris." Mor pulls her robe around her tighter as she slowly gets out of bed.

"I can for a little while longer."

"Okay, I get it. I slept with Cassian!" Mor shouts and throws her hands in the air, "Big deal! I paid the price for it so can we just let it go."

"I could let it go, if it were not for the fact that you hurt Tanwyn as well." I look to her. This is something I will never forgive the two of them for, and I know Mor has been through hell and back for her actions but I cannot seem to let this go.

"I could not think of any other way." She whispers.

"I told you that we would find a way out of this together. You chose to ignore that." I point out to her, and she just cocks her head to the side.

"Did you have any ideas to get me out of that betrothal?" She asks, and I open my mouth to speak but I shut it when I realize I did not have any ideas. "It was either him or Azriel."

I go completely still at her words and I slowly close my book, "Why did it have to be between the two of them?"

"They are the only one's I trust."

"And what made you choose Cassian?" I ask slowly, trying to steady my breathing.

"Azriel would have become too attached and I do not want him to see me in that way." She says, and if it were not for the fact that she had just healed from being tortured, I think I would have tackled her into the ground. I realize it was the bond that was making me territorial, but it still pissed me off she considered either one of them for her stupid task. "I am sorry, Velaris."

"I am not the one you should be apologizing to." I walk out of the room before she can stop me. I make my way to the kitchens to see if the servants need any help with anything. I turn the corner to enter the kitchens and stop when I see Azriel helping cut some vegetables and dumping them into a bowl, an older servant smiles and thanks him. He smiles back at her--Marie was her name. I lean against the doorway and watch as he wipes the stems of the vegetables into his hands and then dumps it into the trash.